Metal Reviews

List the bands that you find True and Worthy with a short reason.

Worthy Black Metal.

1- Tenebrae In Perpetuum (Listening to this music while sleeping may cause you to never wake up again.)

2- Darkthrone (Darkthrone are the innovators of the musical techniques that allow us to express hatred and sorrow.)

3- Burzum (Varg is a magician of darkness and hate.)

4- Abruptum (You must be very careful when you listen to this, because your room will be filled with spirits invisible to you.)

5- Nargaroth (The old music of Nargaroth reigns supreme. This is a mans soul transformed into music.)

6- Moonblood (This band is like a furious storm. Truly diabolical hymns to Satan and the past.)

7- Beatrik (Beatrik realizes the importance of tradition in Black Metal.)

8- Kvist (The old demo of Kvist is incredibly powerful and dark. 'For Kunsten M堖i Evig Vike' is nothing but the trendy death of this band.)

9- Immortal (Early music remains true to tradition and is able to summon demons if you listen to it alone.)

10- Gorgoroth (Especially the old demo 'A Sorcery Written In Blood.')

11- Mayhem (Old music is ice cold Black Metal that will freeze the blood in your veins)

12- Satyricon ('Dark Medieval Times' is a classic album.)

13- Judas Iscariot (This is music that is very focused on ideology, philosophy and Black Metal traditions. This is how it should be!)

14- Exitium (This is the sound of demons being summoned from the moon to Earth.)

15- Ulver (The old music of Ulver is very atmospheric and inspiring in its darkness.)

16- Manes (In the old days, when Manes was pure, they released two demos of almost unparalelled excellence.)

17- Kristallnacht (Of course, I am here refering to the older material. This is satanic ritual holocaust.)

18- Beherit ('Drawing Down The Moon' is a very dangerous album that must be avoided by trendies. The music will affect your subconcious for many years.)

19- Mutiilation (These are true magicians of Hatred and Sorrow, able to pour their soul into the music.)

20- Sortsind (Disturbing music that may manipulate you into ending your life if you are not hardened by True Black Metal.)

21- Svartpest (These Masters of Black Metal use animal craniums and bones to make it easier for the listener to communicate with demons.)

22- Ildjarn (The mastermind behind Ildjarn succeeds in creating the Old Black Metal feeling.)

23- Taake (The music of early Taake is very horrible and gruesome. Avoid this if you are a poser.)

24- Svartahrid (The bassist of this band was recently sentenced to jail for decapitating a corpse. Hail!)

25- Trelldom (Untamed aggression and infernal hate turned into music. This is the hymns of a Ritual Torture Master!)

26- Frostmoon (Beware! This is a band which music is very intense. Might be dangerous to listen to for posers and newbies.)

27- Nachtmystium (Traditional Black Metal Art performed in an attempt to create intense hatred.)

28- Funeral Fog (A piece of Black Metal culture. This is the result of two devoted Worshippers of BM attemting to reproduce the Old feeling. They succeed.)

29- Forgotten Woods (Hypnotizing music that will make you cross the barrier to Hell if you understand it.)

30- Wigrid (The man behind Wigrid is obviously a student of the Burzum way of thinking. Traditional and simple Black Metal.)

31- Nastrond (Terrifying music that will bring forth infernal hate in your heart. Do not listen to this while angry or under the influence of alcohol.)

32- Pest (swe) (Old school Black Metal weaving a pattern of sorrow and hate.)

33- Sorgsvart (Very intense Black Metal that captures the Essence of Hate.)

34- Satanic Warmaster (It is easy to hear that this music is made in the true spirit of the Old Masters of The Scene.)

35- Ancient (Early metal was amazingly impressive and honest, but the band turned into Goth Rock.)

36- Forgotten Tomb (Be careful if you are depressed! This music have the potential to steal your life.)

37- Sarkom (Infernal Black Metal causing hate and sorrow to rise. You will never be the same person after hearing this.)

38- Deathspell Omega (Very painful Black Metal.)

39- Grenjar (Small underground band from Norway, preserving Black Metal.)

40- Luci Tristis (Underground French music of suicide and death.)

41- Taraldsen (Infernal Ritual Black Metal from Norway. Beware!)

42- Frostskogr (Norwegian Secret Kult Black Metal.)

43- Grimm (The Nordisk Vinter EP is able to make humans kill.)

44- Winter Funeral (Very sorrowful music. Will inflict mental pain.)

45- Windir (Because of the death of the frontman, Windirs Black Metal has become more powerful to listen to.)

46- Alverg (Underground Norwegian Kult Black Metal that is secret to posers.)

47- Breath Of Sorrows (Underground Black Metal, very powerful and sad.)

48- Wolfmond (This is Black Metal to hail the night! Hail!)

49- Mysticum (Cryptic and Old music focusing on Demons.)

50- Nihil Nocturne (True and Infernal Black Metal.)

The List of False Black Metal- to warn others.

1- Cradle of Filth (Posers polluting Black Metal.)
2- Dimmu Borgir (Dimmu Borgir is pop camouflaged as BM.)
3- Marduk (Swedish metal for retarded people unable to understand TRUE music.)
4- Dark Funeral (Fuck Off!)
5- Dark Divinity (Teens in saggy pants trying to be true.)
6- Carpe Noctem (Teens in saggy pants trying to be true.)
7- New Satyricon (Trying to "teach Black Metal" to Americans!)
8- Luxuria de Lilith (It is even Brazilian! Fuck Off!)
9- Graveland (Poser Synth Black Metal trying to be True. They are attemting to change the Black Metal Ideology.)
10- Carpathian Forest (They are not taking Black Metal seriously, and they are even joking about it!)

I came across this thread from lurking at the ruthlessreviews.com forums once.

45- Windir (Because of the death of the frontman, Windirs Black Metal has become more powerful to listen to.)

Man, I guess I don't know true black metal. Carpathian Forest is awesome. I also like some Dimmu Borgir.

I agree with this poser list, I wish he'd put Old Man's Child on there, too..

This guy just likes to romanticise his music. I do, too, so I'm not here to mock.

In scanning the list, I see NO fucking Emperor?! That alone makes the guy a couple slices short of a hero sandwich in my book. I will never claim to be a BM know it all, though I like the genre. And I do agree with Astaroth about how pointless it is to complain about missing bands, but how do you not include Emperor? That said, I will probably check out some of these bands, out of pure curiosity.