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 Post subject: Round 1, Match 3, Skaldr/Deadmachine Post 2day, Vote 2Morrow
PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 3:43 pm 
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Banned Mallcore Kiddie

Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2004 5:30 am
Posts: 237
Sorry, didn't have access to a comp yesterday night.

As for today's match, You guys know the drill.

GOOD LUCK! :wink:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 5:27 pm 
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Einherjar
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Okay, I couldn't decide which piece of verse to post, so I'll post both of mine in alphabetical order.

First one:

Quote:
Anyway


RELIC – of a long-dead past.
I’M FEELING – aside not yet cast.

Living, hating, they’re just taking
Avoid ‘em cause they’re awaking
Such reckless humor perpetrated
By our guests.

Pitting one against three, nobody cares
How much you bleed.
Fairness ain’t the game, but you
Knew that already.

Are you Jewish, black or gay?
Heaven saves anyway.
But they’re all liars
so don’t believe those words.

NEWLY – haunted man,
I can’t stand,
I can’t see beyond my hand.
Our new rulers dictate:
Assimilate, assimilate.

They breed whole new creatures
What was two is now one.
Intertwined within threads
Of everlasting, contemptuous fate

Are you Jewish, black or gay?
Heaven saves, anyway.
What was anger will now become
Contempt.

RAIL – skinny and old,
Ineffectual and cold,
It’s my last year
Or so I’m told.

Reign’s over now,
I can’t see…
They’re the ones that did this to me.

They’re all Jewish, black, and gay.
But they’ll be saved anyway.
Heaven’s pearly gates tainted with their
Sin-stained souls.


And the second...


Quote:
Weak

Join me in the crushing dark.
Where lucidity is varied and perception is reality
Where the faded dreams bleed venom into psyches of the young and old alike
Toxic canyon-minds that encompass this creation
Waving propagation-spore tendrils
In the aged forceful light.

Issues are not issues, concerns are not concerns

Diabolical convulsions of nightmare density
Worry yourself not about such trivial matters.
Ages past in apathy can only culminate in emptiness.

Parasites of a failed creation that festers like an abscess
Upon the ever-changing faces of morality.
Souls upon souls spat into the mud like so much garbage
Is this what Dante imagined?

Or is it what you imagined?

Always shifting, never ascending
Metamorphing through contempt and hatred
Where you would be but one complexity
Your adversaries are of millions
So many shards of glass in a universal window
Encompassing all with a deft reflection
Of nothing.

For where there is naught to reflect,
Nothing will be reflected,
And this is the story
Of your reflection
Indeed, of every reflection
Ever to be manifest
Upon this planet

Would that one could, would one be so foolish
As to join them that gibber in the dark
To lay hands amongst and upon archetypes of the unknown,
To drink with ones eyes the anatomical flaws unbeknownst to the black
To bear witness to acts of deformity and the facts of the universe…

Yes, one would, for one is weak.
As wormy beings hung from the psychic fishhook of need are,
Unable to resist.

You are all weak.


And that's my stuff. Ball's in your court, Skaldr.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 6:09 am 
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Metal Slave
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Location: Boucherville
Hail sorry i'm late i've been in the forest all week-end mostly not writting poetry, so i'm gonna post lyrics of old songs that i'm not too proud of right now.

First one are the lyrics of the song werewolves chant that some of you may have heard:

Quote:
Reborn as a misanthrope
I haunt these wood in darkness

Nature’s wrath incarnate
Failures of man punished
A werewolf i am
My cursed blessing

Autumn’s awake
The smell of heaten realms
The colors gone
The moon calls upon our fangs

Forget all love
And praise the beast within
Can you hear the cries?
Can you hear the werewolve’s chants?



Next are the lyrics of somambule a song in french that is in my opinion way better than werewolves chants but since it's in french nobody will understand it...BTW this song was mainly inspired by Starry Night by Van Gogh and the movie Das Der Dr. Caligari....

Quote:
e regarde le ciel
Mais ne vois que néant
J’entends les voix
Qui me tirent vers le bas
Et je sens l’odeur
De l’automne qui s’éveille
Mais je continue de me perdre
Chaque jour je meurs
Mais la nuit je renais…

…Carnavalesque odyssée
Les lanternes comme seuls guides
Mon esprit se dissout
Somnambule…

…Comme des millions de Lunes
Qui pavent ma route d’or
Les feuilles mortes chassent l’été
Dévotes au mouvement perpétuel
Elles me rapellent que je suis mortel
Mais que mon âme
Par un coup du destin
Les accompagnent dans leur cycle…

…Sans jamais mourir ni vivre
J’aspire au réveil
En sachant que la ville
Sous mes yeux ternes
Dort comme un nourrisson
Qui ignore l’immensité
Du monde dans lequel il stagne
Tandis que je m’effondre
Sur une austère colline
Somnambule…

…Et je vois ,
En survolant les chaumes
Ce qu’aurait pu être ma vie
Mais je ne suis qu’un spectre
Un triste somnambule.


Last edited by Skaldr on Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:41 am 
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Metal King
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So where are those?

Anyway, I'm voting Skaldr, though I dislike the last 2 lines which are too cliche. But other than that it's a pretty nice poem.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:54 am 
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Karma Whore
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im voting dead machine, the first set of lyrics were the best, imo...
skaldr, those were cool, hails!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 2:42 pm 
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Metal King
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my vote goes to dead machine, although skaldr was good too.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:10 pm 
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MetalReviews Staff
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Holy crap. I've been debating with myself for an hour and I still haven't decided who to vote for. On the one hand, Skaldr's lyrics are very good, especially taking into account the fact English isn't his native tongue. I love the "Autumn's awake" and "heathen realms" lines. On the other hand, one of his lines is "A werewolf I am." For the life of me, I can't remember the name for that technique, but I hate it. It's incredibly archaic and stiff. Dead Machine's stuff is also very good, though his second entry is just a touch purple. He also does that thing at the beginning of his first entry, with "I'M FEELING - aside not yet cast." Though that one flows better.
In the end...I'm going to have to vote Dead Machine.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:38 pm 
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It's a hard decision, but ultimately I'm going with Aaron.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:21 pm 
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Location: In The Shadow Of The Horns
I, too, was torn... but I must go with Aaron.
V.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:41 pm 
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Some awesome stuff there Skaldr and Aaron; I can imagine some pagan BM anthem with Skaldr's lyrics or some non-stop Thrash fest with Aaron's...

Anyway, both were great, but my vote goes to Aaron.


PS: Keep up the great work OFC et alii, this is why I love the forum.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:57 pm 
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Metal Slave
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BTW i posted the second lyrics.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 5:03 pm 
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Einherjar
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Skaldr wrote:
BTW i posted the second lyrics.


Woo, I like those better than your Werewolf Chants stuff, and I only understand maybe half the words.

Running it through freetranslation.com didn't help, but it's still pretty cool.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:02 pm 
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Banned Mallcore Kiddie

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I'm debating... Must think for a bit.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:48 pm 
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A vote for Skaldr. Succint enough to carry a real message.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:51 pm 
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Metal Slave
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Dead Machine wrote:
Skaldr wrote:
BTW i posted the second lyrics.


Woo, I like those better than your Werewolf Chants stuff, and I only understand maybe half the words.

Running it through freetranslation.com didn't help, but it's still pretty cool.


Yeah those in english where my first lyrics and i try to write them mostly in my native language now it's way more easier and the results are always better.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:52 pm 
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Ist Krieg
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I vote for Skaldr.


Hey, I write a lotta lyrics why am I not in this contest you fuckers? I have like 50. Or do we have to improvise? Or what the fuck?
I go to holiday for a while and I miss all the cool stuff.

Shit.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 9:20 pm 
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Kathaarian wrote:
I vote for Skaldr.


Hey, I write a lotta lyrics why am I not in this contest you fuckers? I have like 50. Or do we have to improvise? Or what the fuck?
I go to holiday for a while and I miss all the cool stuff.

Shit.


hell, there'll be another comp, plus i got kicked out in the 1st round anyways.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:54 pm 
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My problem with Dead Machine's lyrics is that they sound very good, but I don't understand shit of what they mean, and therefore they move me least. I liked the stylistic tricks that Skaldr used, the paradox, pars pro toto, etc. but indeed the last two lines of the first song weren't that good. It's a very hard decision, but I would go for Aaron if it weren't for Skaldr's second song, which made me want to hear more by you, as it reminds me of how I sometimes try to write. Sorry Aaron...


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:57 pm 
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6 for Aaron, 4 for Skaldr so far...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 11:08 pm 
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Einherjar
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Gast1 wrote:
My problem with Dead Machine's lyrics is that they sound very good, but I don't understand shit of what they mean, and therefore they move me least. I liked the stylistic tricks that Skaldr used, the paradox, pars pro toto, etc. but indeed the last two lines of the first song weren't that good. It's a very hard decision, but I would go for Aaron if it weren't for Skaldr's second song, which made me want to hear more by you, as it reminds me of how I sometimes try to write. Sorry Aaron...


Dude, it's a meaningless internet contest. No animosity, no nothin'.

It would be really silly to get upset over the results of this, and I assure you that whether or not I win, such a thing will not happen.


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