Metal Reviews

2013 is over in a few month as rapidly as it came the year I'd reckon gave us many great albums from every metal subgenre, but what have been the abums that were either disappointments or outright piles of shit? Post your reasons why these albums sucked outright, or in the cases of letdowns share why the dynamics of the album didn't match past releases.

I will start by saying the newest Darkthrone proves the band have no ideas left in them, and I will proclaim the album to be the band's St.Anger for the unabashed theft of ideas from classic speed metal/thrash metal. The newest Queensryche as well is a massive disappointment when De La torre had promised a "Return to roots" all we got was Disturbed riffs and oversaturated studio layered vocals.

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The new Darkthrone. Ok I get they aren't going to release another black metal album. I know I should stop hoping for Transilvanian Hunger II but to release that, that compressed sewerage they passed as an "album"? Not even the plethora of uninspired retro heavy metal bands out there would dare release something with this absolute lack of merit. The riffs are half-hearted copies of Attacker, the vocals are plainly not up to scratch, it's high time Darkthrone retreat to the shadows. Maybe then in twenty years time we'll be able to remember them for their early brilliance and not the utter misery heaped upon their fans in the latter stages of their career.

Carcass - Surgical Steel. I went into this one with an open mind not really knowing what to expect. What I got was a modern interpretation of Heartwork and I got bored with Heartwork during the first listen so imagine my disappointment when I spin this for the first time and find myself yawning at about the third song. I can only hope their next release is a little more Necroticism and a little less Heartwork.

Orphaned Land - All Is One. I like Orphaned Land, I really do, but this was just disappointing. It's like they're trying too hard to be both commercially viable and really folky. Unfortunately it doesn't work well. The album lacks focus and whilst there are a few good tracks on it for the most part it just feels a little forced.

Megadeth - Super Collider. Actually I was expecting this one to suck but not even I was prepared for RISK II. 'Nuff said.

Think calling either Darkthrone or Carcass (especially Carcass) anything close to the worst album of 2013 proves only that you've not listened to enough music. Korn put an album out, ffs.

...You're not wrong about Supercollider being shit, though.

I dig that Darkthrone album. Y'all be ridic.

Lesbian - Forestelevision. That album went fucking nowhere and people were praising it. Hour long track from boring doom/drone with a Cascadian vibe to it.

Vulture Industries - The Tower. Were being toted as a Devin/Ihsahn mixture, but was ultimately just kinda annoying.

BLS - Unblackened. Great concept, failed realization.

Other than that, I just have disappointments. No real strong feelings towards worse. These are just albums I didn't like. Probably throw Vattnet Viskar up there too.

Its shit and the band is devoid of all ideas. Its obvious to see the band was in Fenriz's basement listening to Agent Steel/Brocas Helm albums and just decided to steal their riff ideas and add Fenriz's godawful vocals. It is a terrible album and easily the band's St. Anger moment.

Not terrible. Nor even comparable to St. Anger, which is a band going completely against what they've always done to making something utter rubbish. Darkthrone has always been influenced by NWOBHM a la Venom.

Really trying to get into new Dream Theater, and I cant understand all the articles on Blabbermouth where James Labrie and the rest of the band proclaim this album to be one of their best. Bland and uninspired. And I really loved the previous album.

Yes but you see I have no desire to listen to something I know in advance will be atrocious. Hence my list is much shorter then it could be. Wait, hang on a second, are you actually defending the new Darkthrone? Carcass I could understand but Darkthrone enters Supercollider levels of sucking.

are you just bummed because the Darkthrone album isn't black metal?

Oh, and the new Korn album has a song that would be kickass if done by Katy Perry.

ah, i didn't think the new darkthrone was that bad, i haven't listened to it a lot but I'd give it like a 7/10...it's fun and i'll probably listen to it sometimes.

Its about as "fun" as licking the rectal hair of Robb Flynn

Circle The Wagons showed they were moving in that direction. Really don't understand the hatred...

Doubt anyone can out do Megadeth this year.



Hope we don't have to discuss Korn here.

Not at all, I'm disappointed that a band who were there during the 80's could do such an awful job of venturing into speed/heavy metal. This album could have been phenomenal if they'd done it right. They didn't and it sucks.

But Circle the Wagons sucked, and Underground Resistance is solid.

The new Satyricon, or maybe that's just the worst disappointment oft the year.

Other than that, Volbeat?

I would say disappointment for sure. It's just pretty bland but not awful, I guess.

Yeah, the Satyricon is just bland. I rarely consider albums discussed on this website awful, so I'm gonna agree with Karma and say Volbeat too.

new satyricon is alright since it's not really a black metal record or anything they've ever done before.

This all comes down to two things: what each person has and hasn't listened to and personal taste. For example it's obvious that a new korn album will be worse then just about anything mentioned here. The albums I mentioned were either bitterly disappointing (in the case of Carcass and Orphaned Land) or were, in my opinion, very bad records (Megadeth, Darkthrone)

New Satyricon is another for the list. Huge disappointment. In fact the most disappointing album of the year thus far.