Metal Reviews

I'm doing fan-fucking-tastic. I've got the day off and dope, metal, and video games were/are involved. Now I'm gonna smoke a joint while I trip balls to Asteroid while I take my dog for a walk.

Workaholics!

"freedom" !

Drunk!

...

...prophet!

My boy!!!!!!

Fuck yeah, dude!

That's my man! We should have a beer sometime!

Well... Freedom is just as boring as prison. I'm happy not to have some guy watching over my shoulder all the time (parole officer) but idk I guess I was expecting some big change in feeling. There isn't one. I go to work, come home, fuck around in these forums, watch tv go to bed. Only difference is I don't have to call my P.O. When I get home every night.

Oh yeah, another good thing is this.... Before I had to be very careful when I would drink booze cause if po came by to give me a breathalyzer I would go to the county for a few days if I failed. There were ways to sneak but it was a big hassle full of paranoia. I used to crave alcohol every day. Now not really. Wtf

My cousin came over on Monday. I was already drunk. He brought some weed for a "thanks for not ratting me out when your house got raided and you went to prison present". I haven't touched it. It's been 2 years since I smoked. I'm a firm believer in weed. I know that if I don't smoke weed anymore that means I'm gonna drink way more. Really though what's worse weed or alcohol? I say alcohol.

I have no urge to smoke it. This is strange given my history. I've done serious drugs. Yet I have no urge to smoke it. Did I get brainwashed along the way somewhere? Wtf is happening to me? Huh I don't get it.

I have no idea why I'm telling all of you this shit to be honest. I'm not really looking for answers kinda just venting I suppose. Did my addictive behavior get cured? Is that possible? It's not possible if I become an alcoholic haha.

Ok, so first of all, alcohol is definitely worse than weed. For both your physical health and your mental health. With that said, if you don't feel the urge to drink or smoke, don't do it man. If you feel like it, sure go ahead, but don't do it for the sake of it because that will just get you into trouble.

And it is possible for addictive behaviour to be cured, and no you haven't been brainwashed. Addictive behaviour develops - 9 times out of 10 - because a person feels they need to cope with certain issues in their life somehow. It could be something big, like emotional problems, or it could be something small, like boredom. Either way, that's how it develops. After all this time without using that stuff, you learn that you can cope with your issues in other ways, and you don't really need it. Sometimes it's still fun to have it, but you don't need it anymore. So don't sweat it, man. It's a good thing.

The alcoholic thing was a half joke. I like drinking when I go out but I am not gonna take the chance of driving and drinking ever again in this life that's for sure.

Thanks though thrash. It's just weird. I was expecting all these old addictions to pop in to say hello once I was off parole and the fear of impending imprisonment was lifted and so far so good. I have a bag of good weed staring at me and I don't want to smoke it.

I suppose it's a good thing. Just a out of character thing is what has me all weirded out.

how old are you snake?

I'll be 31 December 2nd.

yeah I have a buddy who's getting older (I think he's 27 now) and he used to do crazy drugs, has a couple dui's, was in jail for a while because of them and all he does is drink now. Doesn't smoke weed, just drinks.

I used to smoke weed when I was younger but really have no desire to anymore. It fucks with my mind to now when I smoke.

But anyways, don't sweat it, it's fucking weed for crying out loud, it's not good for you, and it really doesn't make you feel that great.

Fuck, I drink 6 or 7 beers now and I don't even get a buzz, so that's where I'm at.

Life sucks and is boring as shit, but I would imagine jail is even more boring.

I just look forward to lifting weights and playing basketball when I have the opportunity. Working sucks, but that's life.

Why the sad face? 31 still gives you more than enough time for everything, dude.

31 sucks goat ass! Haha I'm getting wrinkles around my eyes. Wtf!! My knees hurt after working. I'm tired as hell. I feel like I'm aging.

haha... wait until your mid-forties... still, I eat healthy, and workout religiously so, the worst is some aches and pains and a lot of gray in my beard, which aint bad. Some advice; don't let yourself go, it gets harder to maintain fitness the older you get.

So things are coming to an end for me and her. She simply doesn't want a relationship at this point and doesn't know when she wants one anyway. I told her that I am falling for her and I simply cannot carry on like this for us to be friends. It's just not going to work out like that at all. She said a lot of nice things to me yesterday of which not any one of them means anything to me because she doesn't want me. I thought I had found someone really special but it turns out I was wrong. It hurts but I'll live

Concerning the herbiage; I used to enjoy it. The last time I had some (little over a year ago) all it did was whisper black suppositions of paranoia down my brain. No fun.
Really doubt I'll touch the stuff again.

I'll stick to my two or three Friday / Saturday night vodka martinis, thank you very much.

Haha I hear ya man. I got grays coming in now, as for fitness I'm doing my best to get it sorted out now. Lost a lot of weight over the last year. I eat well too.

I'm really sorry to hear this DI. I had truly hoped it would work out for you. Hopefully this girl comes to her senses.

Indeed, that's a shame. Hang in there, mate, she's but a blip on the radar in the fullness of time.

It's the aches and pains that suck, have to be careful when hitting the iron due to past injuries and so on.

Cheers, Zad. That's hopeful what you said. She messaged me a few minutes ago saying that she wants to see me. So I have to wait until Saturday and see what she has to say.