Metal Reviews

We've all used the multitude of words in the metal lexicon, whether it'd be "Br00tal", "kvlt", "mallcore", or my personal favorite Blowpeth and Agasuck (yes I'm brilliant). But when these words eventually gained widespread usage, they became no better than your average 4chan meme. What is the worst circumstance you've seen our terminology used in, and if you could destroy these words forever, would you do so?

All of them though it's sometimes funny to write in metal-retarded-languague.

Norsecore is a pretty harrowing word.

blasturbation such an annoying word

Nu-metal, Melodeath, Unblack Metal, and yeah, Norsecore is quite annoying too (although it fits perfectly some bands like Dark Funeral). I'm fine with Kvlt.

I have never heard "blasturbation" before now. Going to use it in a review for next week.

Same here. Kinda like it. And I think Norsecore would be an awesome genre if it ever became something besides a pejorative for blasting black metal.

Yep, it should be a genre for bands influenced by Bathory and Discharge.

Hells yeah. Welkin Dusk would be a good example but we just call it blackened crust.

I've never seen "br00tal" used for any other purpose than being ironic.

Get rid of these cunts of phrases and I'm a happy man.

"Evolution" - as in a band "evolving" into a softer sound.
Suggested replacement phrases: "sold out," gone soft/commercial."

"Progression" - same context as above.
Suggested replacement phrases: "sold out," gone soft/commercial."

"Open minded" - it's metal. Fuck off if you don't like it.

I wouldn't call eg Death sell-outs for the changes to that sound. I think "sell-out" is a pretty crap term myself. Fuck off if you don't like it.

Yeah, I'd prefer the term turning to shit.

I've described Behemoth, Gorezone or Nile as brutal I'm sure. But not with stupid 0s.

So dead1 thinks it's stupid to describe Ihsahn's development from Thou Shalt Suffer through Emperor to his solo album as an evolution or progression. How else the fuck would you describe it?

Not pulling a death for one.

Selling out or going soft/commercial, obviously. Durr.

please don't use the word blasturbation

I don't see how Death sold out (with Symbolic, I presume), because it's definitely still not radio rock.

I would use selling out to describe Metallica or Megadeth in the mid 90s or whenever.

I was thinking more the following:

In Flames
Soilwork
Fear Factory (at times)
Machine Head
Metallica
Megadeth
Opeth - they used to have Death Metal bits in there!
Slayer - Numetal wannabe shit.
Anthrax - Stomp 442 and We've Come For You All
The Haunted
Paradise Lost
Katatonia
Amorphis
Anathema
Theatre of Tragedy
Iced Earth (progression mean't turning to Europower metal cause they sold more there)
Etc
Etc

That sort of thing...

This is insanity... enough said. I really don't feel like arguing with someone when I know they're out of their minds! With mentions like Ihsahn, Amorphis, Katatonia, Opeth and Paradise Lost.