The Necrodude wrote:
Nowadays i handle it much better, though i'm still very depressed i try to do things that cheer me up like gaming and listening to some good tunes. One side affect of this tinnitus thing (among many) that kind of scares me is the fact that i have become somewhat colder and indifferent to other peoples suffering. When you suffer each day, it does something to you, your mind, your mentality, your whole outlook on life. Truth is: I despise other peoples happiness, it makes me sick to watch other people happy knowing that i am very miserable. Maybe there is something wrong with me haha.
This. I have multiple sclerosis, which means my eyesight is fucked up (damaged optic nerve), I can't walk for 5 minutes without a walking stick, and I basically can't feel my feet anymore (granted, metal didn't cause my that obviously). I have other things I won't discuss here.
Anyway my point is, at first I couldn't stand other people's so-called
problems. I often found myself genuinely wanting to toast them with a flamethrower. I still do sometimes. It happens.
And then one day I realized I'd be much better off focusing on what I can still do than bitching about what I cannot anymore. Not an easy task, obviously. But when I manage to do it, life is Oh-so-much-better.
[/mylife]
So, no, I don't think there is anything wrong with you at all
Your bitterness is entirely understandable. I'm sure you'll find your ways to fight it
I gotta say. A lot of people have given me nothing but shit around here. You haven't. I seriously envy your disposition considering the struggles you go through. I would be extremely bitter in your position. Thanks for the kind words despite your circumstances. That shows a spirit I can only aspire to.
Bruce.
