Metal Reviews

in the face!

I'm troo metal! I ride to the grocery store on my Harley, wearing leather pants and a studded leather vest. I take off my WWI German helmet and let my long mane blow in the wind. I then get off my Harley and punch an old lady in the face. Once inside, I air-guitar my way down the pet supply aisle to get my dogfood, which I eat, because I'm a fuckin metal mongrel. Did I mention I steal it. Metal knows no currency!

Once outside, I kick that old bitch on the ground that I punched earlier, get back on my Harley and screech off to my hangout in a car-wrecking yard. Inside my shack, I throw a beer bottle at the stereo, which explodes into Manowar's "Die For Metal". My bitches who are chained to my bed beg to be fed. I ate all the dogfood, so they get nothing tonight.

Tonight I need to party. I waft my armpit and all my metal crew come from far and wide. We spend the night smoking pot, drinking beers and setting fire to shit.

Metaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllll!

You describe almost exactly my day, except than I usually cut the shoper's head with my sword and I usually kill one or two dragons in my way to the party.

If you're not into metal, you're not my friend!

Here in Italy i meant.

Musical geek, probably.

This thread should be locked.

It's not metal to lock threads

Yeah, it's more metal to kill all your enemies to left the thread clean as a desert (and on topic).

LOL! YES!

Last night some old woman drove past me and my friend with her window open and I'm sure she was listening to Somewhere in Time. Heavy Metal O.A.P.

The OP becomes more hilarious to me each time I read it.

fuck yeah!

I wonder why our limbs grow to the same size? If they didn't, everything would be kind of hard, your depth perception would be smashed.

Trying too hard.

I was just thinking the other day that Rust in Peace is so awesome because every song kills . Except maybe Dawn Patrol, which is okay, but seriously, every song is killer. I really don't understand saying that Hangar 18 is the only good song, haha.

And yeah I just listen to music that I like. I'm probably not a metalhead...But it's weird, lately I've been really unsatisfied with most of the music I listen to. Like I just want something that's catchy and enjoyable, it doesn't need to be super experimental or uber technical or anything.I wish there was more catchy metal--there's really not much at all. Like the only metal I can really go to if I want catchy and good is Avenged Sevenfold--City of Evil, which I'm realizing is actually really good, despite the fact that M. Shadows sucks. I really don't know what it is, like I know I should enjoy Maiden or Protest the Hero or anybody more than City of Evil, but right now i'm really not.

Yeah, I was sober and thought I'd just post an actual musing, so it just wasn't any good. But I did genuinely think about that for a while.

I can't really make you do anything, can I?

. As for being a metalhead, my definition of a metalhead would be someone whose first preference when it comes to music is metal. So, by that standard, I am a metal head.

I think I won the thread with this post.

Somebody back me up on it.