Metal Reviews

I once knew a guy that was so short, that his breath smelled like feet.

ok, sry ...

When Oprah jumps bungee she goes straight to hell

Chuck Norris lost virginity before his father

when Oprah goes to zoo elephants throw peanuts at her

This is the funniest thing I've read in this thread.

Do you get offended by jew jokes, Zad?

Speaking as one half of the Jew population on this board, I say, bring on the Jew jokes! But if the other half likes them not, then let's just stick with making fun of people with disabilities.

Scottish jokes plz

Scotsmen are so tight, they keep their confetti on elastic.

Racist.

Damn, fell into a trap...

Okay, here some really really good schottish jokes I hope you will enjoy:


Why can't Schottish ppl have children?


- Because they are all gay!




So like, this Danish guy, right?, he walked into a bar. He started a conversation with a Schottish guy, an American guy and a French guy. The French guy asked them: " so what do you guys do for a living?". The Danish guy said " I'm a fucking Viking!", the French guy replied " Oh, i'm just a lousy pussy!", " Jiiihaaawww Jiiiiiiihaaaaww" the American uttered and the Scottich guy added " I just play the bagpipe all day long in my skirt!". The Negro bartender of some sort overheard the conversation and said " Oh?! the backpipe, I love it too!". And so it came to be that the French guy, the Scottish guy and the Negro bartender of some sort went out to have some hot loving anal sex with each other, the Danish Viking, however, raped all the women in the bar and burned the place to the ground, while the confused American guy ran around waving his flag and his guns for no reason or what so ever.
Unfortunately, the Negro bartender of some sort had antrax, herpes, syfilis, and brain cancer, and a week later he died are horrible, painful and slow death. The Scottish guy and the French guy got so depressed that they commited collective suicide by jumping off a latter in the backyard. Later a German guy found them and ate their dicks. So tragic!
The Danish viking lived on to fight another day, brave as ever, he fought long and hard to gain independency and women - but it is not easy when Jews control most of the world with their long puppeteer fingers

what about that scot that lost a penny in a ditch and created the grand canyon?

anyway, i posted this one before but why not:
a jew's wife died, and her name was Rachel. so the husband, who we shall call Moshe (Carnifex herself suggested these names, must typically jewish, like their large noses), went down to the newspaper and said he wanted to post a message in the obituary. the message was "Rachel is dead", and the employee said "hey, 3 words cost as much as 10, would you like to add something?" to which Moshe replied "ok - Rachel is dead, 92 Ford Fiesta For Sale Real Cheap"

Since you're obviously incapable of taking a hint, I give up. Knock yourselves out...

Come on Zad, Jew to jew, let us take jokes and in return, make fun of other races. My dream is a world where all races can make fun of each other equally.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive

CAUSE THERES NO ROAD BETWEEN THE KITCHEN AND THE BEDROOM

Dunno if anyone's heard this. But here's one. A man and his wife are taking a walk and they see a well. The wife tells her husband, "You know what that is? It's a wishing well. People say that you just need to say your wish and toss a coin in and your wish comes true. " The husband decides to give it a try. He makes a wish, walks towards the well and tosses the coin in. He tells his wife, "Your turn". His wife walks towards the well. She trips and falls into it and dies. The husband looks at the well and says, "Man, it really works !"

Yeah, well, it's nice in theory, but something always rankles with me when the racist jokes get pulled out. Call it being a bad sport, but since 9 times out of 10 the person telling the joke a) has never experienced racism themselves and b) wouldn't have the guts to tell them if, say, there were several large members of that particular race in earshot, what's the point? They're not even funny, and saying things like, 'well, you tell white people jokes then' hardly makes it ok.

I'm very tempted to lock this thread, actually, but since I know how you heroic protectors of free speech would react, I won't. Tell 'em and be damned.

This is like the greatest joke ever