Metal Reviews

Hi, I just had this idea about a thread where you post what according to you is some really bad lyrics from usually big-name and serious metal bands. When smaller or up-coming bands make those kinds of mistakes, they can easily be forgiven but sometimes you hear those things from bands that you would expect to write differently. It ccould be your favorite band that once made you go "WTF? " or any other famous lyrics that you think are stupid enough. I'm sure everyone has something in mind.

So come on, bring on some laughs!

I can't think of anything specific yet, but I'll go back through some Rhapsody lyrics or something today and get back to this thread

Blind Guardian - I'm Alive. I mentioned this in a thread about geeky lyric themes some time ago.



Also, Nightwish - Nymphomaniac Fantasia is quite infamous for a reason:

The scariest part of Nymphomaniac Fantasia's lyrics is that you just know Tuomas sat back and had a hearty fap when he was done writing them.

Haha I laughed aloud when I read that one! Nice!

Here's one from Stratovarius : Paradise (from Visions)



I'm not environmentally unconscious and I thought that was one of the catchiest songs of that album but when I payed attention to the lyrics I went exactly like "WTF .... did his 11-year old daughter write this thing?"

Man, Stratovarius has some of the crappiest lyrics in metal. "Liberty" is one of the most cringeworthy songs I've ever heard. I like pretty cheerful lyrics in my metal at times but that song is just too much.

This song is cool and catchy, but some of the lyrics are...well...their influence on Stratovarius is apparent

Helloween: Eagle Fly Free

People are in big confusion
they don't like their constitutions
everyday they draw conclusions
and they're still prepared for war

Some can say what's ineffective
some make up themselves attractive
build up things they call protective
well your life seems quite bizarre

In the sky a mighty eagle
doesn't care 'bout what's illegal
on its wings the rainbow's light
it's flying to eternity

Eagle fly free
let people see
just make it your own way
leave time behind
follow the sign
together we'll fly someday

Hey, we think so supersonic
and we make our bombs atomic
or the better quite neutronic
but the poor don't see a dime

Nowadays the air's polluted
ancient people persecuted
that's what mankind contributed
to create a better time

In the sky a mighty eagle
doesn't care 'bout what's illegal
on its wings the rainbow's light
it's flying to eternity

Eagle fly free
let people see
just make it your own way
leave time behind
follow the sign
together we'll fly someday

hey, they're non-native english speakers. lay off.

Cheese is cheese in any language

Everything by Immortal. Although i don't know if they're even trying to be all that serious, i've always considered them a joke anyway.

All Manowar lyrics.

Like this?

Manowar: Kings Of Metal

Manowar Manowar living on the road
When we're in town speakers explode
We don't attract wimps 'cause we're too loud
Just true metal people that's Manowar's crowd

They wanna keep us down
But they can't last
When we get up we're gonna kick your ass
Gonna keep on burnin'
We always will
Other bands play Manowar kill
Other bands play Manowar kill

We like it hard, we like it fast
We got the biggest amps, man they blast
True metal people wanna rock not pose
Wearin' jeans and leather, not cracker jack clothes

They wanna keep us down
But they can't last
When we get up we're gonna kick your ass
Gonna keep on burnin'
We always will
Other bands play Manowar kill
Other bands play Manowar kill

We're the kings of metal comin' to town
When we light up, have the roof nailed down
Don't try to tell us that we're too loud
'Cause there ain't no way that we'll ever turn down

They wanna keep us down
But they can't last
When we get up we're gonna kick your ass
Gonna keep on burnin'
We always will
other bands play Manowar kill

Yes. Or this:

I Made A Rock'n'roll
When I Tried Givin' In, To Make Money Had To Turn Down Low
They Said, "Why Be Proud, Don't Play So Loud, Be Like Us
And Get A Sound That's Real Thin
Wear A Polyester Suit, Act Happy, Look Cute, Get A Haircut
And Buy Small Gear"
That's When I Turned To Them And Said, Hold It, Right There
Well It's More To Me Than Just A Job, And While I'm Playin'
You Won't Get Robbed
Nobody Tells A Man How To Play, It Just Ain't That Way
Hey, Hey, Hey, Can You Hear Me Say
All Men Play On Ten, Never Gonna Turn Down Again
All Men Play On Ten, Never Gonna Turn Down Again

I'm Jet Fuel Honey, Plug Me Into 220, Step Back And Let
My Fingers Fly
While I'm Burning Up My Gear, There's A Fire In Your Ear
That Won't Stop Until The Day You Die
I Really Put It To The Floor When I Hear The Crowd Roar
Oh, It's Music To My Ears When They Scream
Then I Run Back The Power Rack And Deck, All Of My Gear

Well It's More To Me Than Just A Job, And While I'm Playing
You Won't Get Robbed
Nobody Tells A Man How To Play, It Just Ain't That Way
Hey, Hey, Hey, Can You Hear Me Say
All Men Play On Ten, Never Gonna Turn Down Again
All Men Play On Ten, Never Gonna Turn Down Again

Well It's More To Me Than Just A Job, And While I'm Playing
You Won't Get Robbed
Nobody Tells A Man How To Play, It Just Ain't That Way
Hey, Hey, Hey, Can You Hear Me Say
All Men Play On Ten, Never Gonna Turn Down Again
All Men Play On Ten, Never Gonna Turn Down Again

Megadeth: Psychotron


Assassin in stealth
Assailant from Hell
Imprevious to damage
Computer on-board
Engaged in a war
Non-stop combatant
Maybe not a mutant, maybe a man

Part bionic
And organic
Not a cyborg
Call him Psychotron

Burning inside
Godspeed in glide
Battle plan running
A killing machine
Just downright mean
And forever gunning
Maybe not a mutant, maybe a man


Target to destroy
Arms in employ
Full assault fire threat
Sensors indicate
You will terminate
Life systems disconnect


Psychotron

Tony Kakko walking in the cool night air without underwear.

"Psychotron" is cool!

It's a long, LONG story, but I have a deep-seeded hatred of all things Mustaine, so even though Countdown to Extinction used to be one of my favorite Megadeth albums, I can't avoid making fun of "A killing machine; Just downright mean". Sorry

NOW THAT IIII HAVE FOUND THE WHOOOORE IN YOOOU~

Yes, Last Drop Falls has some funny-ass lyrics.

Ahhhhh I saw this thread and was going to post the sonata arctica underwear line but I've been beaten to it! GRARGH