Metal Reviews

everybody point your finger at the loincloths and laugh

The Anthology cover is much worse.

Agree about Silence having a substandard execution of a cool idea.

Now that you mention it, it actually is much worse. It can't get any gayer than this.

As far as gayness in cover art is concerned, Manowar has no opposition LOL While Hammerfall may perform in armor, at least it's not all over their album covers

Although, this one almost seems like a billboard for gay pride:



I was thinking of posting Iron Maiden's Dance of Death cover, but it's so infamously bad, I figured it wasn't worth the time since everyone's seen it and probably has no interest in seeing it again, even to laugh at it.

hahaha ... not even village people is gayer than this.

The great thing about Manowar is that you can enjoy their cool music and laught at their lyrics and attitude at the same time. Few bands provide that sort of thing.

The worst thing is that now with all the quotes, you can't go into this thread without having to see that Anthology cover

What made them to do such a thing anyway? Insane!

God only knows...

Haha! I own Anthology and had to immediately turn the booklet around inside the cover. I felt like a total homo when I bought it too.

As for bad covers:


This one of those "I think it's cool, but there's clearly something wrong with it" covers. Probably becuse that warrior guy looks like he should be mending shoes rather than being sent into battle.

That's plain wrong for a million of reasons I'm too bored to analyze at present!

Anyhoo, the anthology cover sucks balls, into glory ride is indeed bad, but all the rest of their covers are pure works of art, so they made up for it I guess! Well apart from fighting the world which kinda looks like a comic book!

But when it come to weird covers I think

rules! And when it comes to bad covers I think load and reload take the cake, I hope they didn't pay the guy who did those!

Also now that I remembered

It's from savage grace, master of disguise, the title track is about a rapist cop! Psycho stuff! Anyhoo this is a must have album for every self respecting U.S. power fan and lover of plain wrong metal covers Their first Ep named "The dominatress" (with Omen's Kenny Powell on guitar), also has a similar type s&m cover.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

So bad.

Are you saying Manowar's music sucks ... Or are you saying one should take their lyrics and attitude seriously?

C'mon, it's all a big joke and it's funny. Guys singing about being number one, about killing with steel, thunder that shakes the gound ... It's funny, and at least it's a lot better than singing the "I love you, baby" thing that pop music offers.

Imagine you're 9, you're in school, and all your friends find that album and it's your dad, bathed in oil holding a hammer and using loin underwear. How BAD and for how LONG would yout get beaten??

Manowar is the epitome of heavy metal in every way: Music, looks, attitude, the lot. You either get it or you don't. It's all just an allegory. Blood, steel, metal, it's all just larger than life images trying to stress a simple real life mentality : Stand tall, walk proud and try to be the best you can be always facing every challenge life has to offer. That's what Manowar is all about, it's the soundrack to the life of the everyday average strugling man, with the heaviest riffs the Wagneric side of metal has to offer, the greatest vocalist of all time, and lyrics about steel, blood, killing, fighting, fucking and dying (not nescesarilly in that order ), but somehow always coming on top a winner.

Now as far as the loincloths go, c' mon guys, that's the theatrical side of metal! Back in 81-82 came a band singing about battles and war, and clad like Conan the Barbarian. It's just a stage presentation. Sure it looks lame nowadays, but back then it was something really original and produced a great show.

The gotthard cover is great. Humping 3D cows

Sepultura's recent album covers have been awful. Ironic too since they used to have some of the better album art of any metal band.



Yawn. There are only about two colors. The logo is ugly. And the whole cover just looks downright ugly.
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Again, just no. A cover like this just doesn't get you excited about the album. It's bland, boring and lifeless.
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For what's supposedly a grandiose epic, you'd think Sepultura would've given it some kick ass cover art. But instead we get something that looks like it was done by a fourth grade art class.

We've deviated from PM covers, but those Sepultura ones ARE pretty bad. If we are now going outside of Power Metal, then how about this?



WTF IS THAT????????????

I don't think the Sepultra ones were bad at all, especially the first one...it's actually pretty decent. The last one's kind of bad, but I wouldn't put it in the "awful" category.

And I've been looking at the one above me for a while and I can't figure out what the fuck it is.

The first sepultura cover, the Nation one, it's not bad, it's a good (not great) cover. The other two are mediocre, but really not as bad as the other stuff showed in this thread.

A band that has done some of the worst covers in metal is Riot... some examples:




And the worst one...

I find myself actually thinking it's not that bad. I mean the colors are pretty good imo. And Eddie looks good.