Cellador Sucks!

Eyesore · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:58 am

Quote:

CELLADOR
"Enter Deception"
(Metal Blade - provided by Target)

- 1 out of 5 points -

Q: How come Dragonforce plays faster than the speed of light? A: Because they can! Q: Why do the Hammerfall guys write clichee filled songs with memorable hooks? A: Because they can! So why on earth would a mediocre band from the US try to copy the hyper-fast-paced sonic assault of Dragonforce when they can't match the playing skills of the UK-dudes? And why on earth would they try to steal with arms and legs the songwriting of Sweden's metal-mongers in Hammerfall, when they don't have what it takes to make the songwriting flow? I have absolutely no clue, but unfortunately there are lots of people out there who (also without clues at all) will go out and buy this crap, because someone told them it's the next big thing in metal. Please, don't invest your money in this - go and support some bands who actually deserves it instead.

Claus

Taken from http://www.intromental.com. You know, as much as I'd like this site to have more reviewers and more reviews, this drivel is typically what you get from review sites. Every review here takes the time to write quality reviews so I'd rather have fewer reviews per week than nonsense like this. What irks me most is that this turd likely downloaded this album, and if he didn't he got the damn thing for free and doesn't deserve it.

Sick 'em, NESS, sick 'em!!

Good dog.

noodles · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:02 am

I agree with him

Eyesore · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:11 am

noodles wrote:

I agree with him

Yeah, good that Dragonforce is now available at Hot Topic so he was able to name-drop them. I guarantee he's seen one video by Dragonforce. And to compare Cellador to Hammerfall is retarded.

Cú Chulainn · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 9:18 am

dork.

Ness · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:21 am

I have absolutely no clue, but unfortunately there are lots of people out there who (also without clues at all) will go out and buy this crap, because someone told them it's the next big thing in metal.

This is great :lol:

.

I guarantee if this guy found out about Cellador before everybody else he wouldn't have written this. He'd be the one telling all his buddies about "this new band that plays teh fast metal." And yes, Hammerfall? Are you kidding me? And for the 100,000,000,000 time, Cellador and Dragonforce are nothing alike!!!

derncare · **Joined:** Sat Jul 16, 2005 4:40 am **Posts:** 731

Mediocre?

This reviewer is just clueless. Cellador's riffs are harder to play than many PM guitarist's solos. And I agree with metalNESS about the comparision to DragonForce. Other than the overall speed and inclusion of blast beats, there is nothing else common between them. Cellador's riffs are more complex, their solos are less "noodley", they don't have keyboards or video game-like sounds, and their singer is vastly different (and better IMO).

I hope they don't pay this guy for his reviews.

Radagast · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 12:46 pm

metalNESS wrote:

Cellador and Dragonforce are nothing alike!!!

Wouldn't go that far. But I agree its a lazy comparison. Cellador remind me more a of a manly version of Power Quest (ie, much less keys, harder riffs).

derncare · **Joined:** Sat Jul 16, 2005 4:40 am **Posts:** 731

Cellador also avoids fantasy lyrics

Eyesore · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:38 pm

And their singer is a wigger!

derncare · **Joined:** Sat Jul 16, 2005 4:40 am **Posts:** 731

[quote="Eyesore"]And their singer is a wigger![/quote]
:lol:

He's the product of genetic engineering:

Sammet + Kiske + Eminem :omfg:

Eyesore · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:55 pm

derncare wrote:

Eyesore wrote:

And their singer is a wigger!

He's the product of genetic engineering:

Sammet + Kiske + Eminem :omfg:

And an unnatural love for Thundercats!

derncare · **Joined:** Sat Jul 16, 2005 4:40 am **Posts:** 731

Cellador! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Eyesore · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 5:01 pm

derncare wrote:

Cellador! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

EpicMetalFan30 · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 5:19 pm

a better review

http://www.lordsofmetal.nl/showreview.p ... 13&lang=en

Angel Black · **Joined:** Fri Feb 17, 2006 9:54 pm **Posts:** 342

Cellador sucks indeed

Holy_Terror · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:23 pm

I personally think Cellador sucks as well. But that's not to say you shouldnt like them. But that style of metal is so played out for me.

leee · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:32 pm

Holy_Terror wrote:

I personally think Cellador sucks as well. But that's not to say you shouldnt like them. But that style of metal is so played out for me.

I think it is only ok, at least some bands in the US can play this style...

Will I buy it? nah...

Radagast · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:33 pm

Holy_Terror wrote:

I personally think Cellador sucks as well. But that's not to say you shouldnt like them. But that style of metal is so played out for me.

And Thrash isn't? I'm not attempting to cause a fight here, but as a staunch proponent of a genre that hasn't moved forward in a positive way in over 15 years that seems like a weird thing to say.

Cú Chulainn · **Posted:** Fri Aug 18, 2006 6:37 pm

Radagast wrote:

Holy_Terror wrote:

I personally think Cellador sucks as well. But that's not to say you shouldnt like them. But that style of metal is so played out for me.

And Thrash isn't? I'm not attempting to cause a fight here, but as a staunch proponent of a genre that hasn't moved forward in a positive way in over 15 years that seems like a weird thing to say.

pwned

derncare · **Joined:** Sat Jul 16, 2005 4:40 am **Posts:** 731

[quote="Radagast"][quote="Holy_Terror"]I personally think Cellador sucks as well. But that's not to say you shouldnt like them. But that style of metal is so played out for me.[/quote]
And Thrash isn't? I'm not attempting to cause a fight here, but as a staunch proponent of a genre that hasn't moved forward in a positive way in over 15 years that seems like a weird thing to say.[/quote]

I would have said 20 years, but other than that, I was about to say the same thing

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