OurFinestCoward wrote:
valefor wrote:
OurFinestCoward wrote:
valefor wrote:
As soon as * TANKARD * beheld theTrue Norwegian Black Metal Barbarians, they knew once and for all who REALLY had stolen their beer, for the scrawny makeup ridden BM band had already drank it all. Because of their small statures, and overall lightweightedness, they had already passed out. And Tankard shrugged, wondering how any number of "men" could succumb to a single case of beer, as they stole the wallets of the inebriated to buy some more...
No less than 2 members of Darkthrone died from alcohol poisoning.
V.
So that's how Darkthrone became a two member band. Cool.
Whoever would write something so deluded, should at least use their own signature... And as for scrawniness, I don't know of too many burly thrash bands, thats just dumb.
We are talking about the force of MUSIC, not who can drink more beer. Besides, I don't think Darkthrone carry wallets...
The Real V.
We are talking about the force of the music, dude. Like Holy Terror (Someone you agreed with) said, BMer's sing their pagan chants, and drink blood, while Thrasher's sing about anything involving being a baddass, and in Tankard's case, drinking, kicking ass, and drinking.
It only makes sense that I picture their personas being similar to some wizardry nutjob, trying to burn a church in sacrafice in order to summon demons, etc etc... meanwhile taking a lead pipe to the head from the beer gutted drunk with violent tendencies.
Yeah, hit me with some BM theology now, about it all being anti-everything, and not about Satan. Either way, I still don't picture a world class fighter, or even a stumble gut brawler, when I hear the title "Theologist."
And the wallet comment... I mean, with all the jobs Black Metal bands hold down.

well I see two very different scenarios taking place
one:
While your drunken Thrashie was staggering around brandishing his lead pipe, the Black Metal Barbarian whispers the appropriate commands to the night sky, thereby summoning legions of demons to do his bidding; and, lo... a crack would appear in the blackened sky, vomiting forth a ravenous swarm of pain, wrath and torment, black-winged and razor-clawed,
hungry for warm blood and living flesh, to descend upon his enemy, who before his besotted mind can register what is happening to him, is reduced to a pile of stripped-clean-white bones, and perhaps a few shreds of shit-stained underwear, his soul possessed and tormented in darkness and pain for all eternity in the bargain. The demonic swarm, thus sated, (for now!) would hence be sent back to the abyss from whence it came.
two:
Or the Black metal barbarian would simply laugh in disgust at the sodden folly of bringing a lead pipe to a sword fight , chop off his head, arms and legs, and burn the corpse in offering to the ineffably puissant Lord of Shadows and Magick.
V.