You might be wondering why this is called Metal Musings Vol. I. “What does that mean? Is there going to be a volume II? Are you just too lazy to concentrate on one topic?” might be going through your head right now so I’ll take a brief moment to explain. These Metal Musings are simply my thoughts on some topics underneath the metal umbrella. The reason I am including them here is because I couldn’t in all honesty fit them into an entire editorial without a fair amount of filler to buffer out the length. “Will there be a volume II?” Maybe. If I can come up with more topics and you the readers enjoy this one and hearing my views, rants and musings (!) then yes, there might just be a volume II. “Are you too lazy to concentrate on just one topic?” Yes and no. There are many topics out there to do and I will get to them (birth of metal, selling out vs. evolution) etc. etc. but right now I just didn’t feel the time was right to bring them out and also, sometimes a good rant is necessary to purge ones self and feel better. You can even call this the first “true” editorial because this whole thing is entirely based on MY opinion so remember that.

The first topic I want to touch base on is the one of the notion that most metalheads are stupid dumb asses that do nothing but listen to “uncultured and obscene” music, work at a fast food joint (ha, I did that for a while so I guess I contributed to that stereotype a little bit), are slovenly lazy bums and they all smell like tomatoes and ass. I think it might have been the latter part that convinces hostesses at dine in restaurants of a “higher” nature to sit me and my friends in what I lovingly refer to as the “reject” section. The most amusing one was when the establishment opened up the outside patio area just to put me and my crew out there. It was pretty funny actually other than the fact it was windy as hell and my long, flowing, raven haired locks kept getting blown into my mouth every time I opened it to eat. Now there was a time when stuff like that used to bother me but now it mainly just makes me laugh. I guess another stereotype is the fact that we must be unmannerable folk cos about three times out of five when I’m somewhere and open the door for someone else or just even hold it open they seem to have a mental stutter and have a hard time saying “thank you”, or they just stare in confusion, or the best one yet is if they refuse to go out and just look angry like I’m gonna steal his fanny pack or her purse or something like that. If the last one happens, and it doesn’t happen that much to be honest, I just inform them of their rude demeanor in more colorful terms than that and then slam the said door shut in their face. While I think this stereotyping is stupid and unjust I’m not ignorant to why I get this, I mean look at my profile pic and look at where I live. I think it’s funny (funny as in weird not funny ha ha) that metal, a music that embodies true individualism, has fans that are looked at as lowly, yet the white teenagers who think that they’re black and tell chicks, “Yo bitch, you be one fat ass ho,” are considered normal.

I’m wondering where the terms “tr00” and “n00b” started, because those happen to be some of the most dumb assed things I have ever heard or seen in my life. Really, the first time I saw “n00b” and “tr00” I just said, “What the hell does that mean?” And then when I did figure it out about two seconds later I thought, “Wow that’s pretty retarded.”

Since Jay did a whole editorial on downloading music off the net, I think I’ll throw in my thoughts here real quick. I advocate the use of mp3’s as a means to discover bands and preview albums but not as a substitute for cds. I mean really, I felt like I was uber cool Edguy fan numero uno when I met Tobias Sammet and Eggi and Dirk and Felix and had them sign ALL my Edguy albums. I even got props from Dirk and Eggi for having the import version of Theater of Salvation with the full booklet and the bonus tracks. I mean what are you gonna do if all you have are cd-rs or mp3s? “Hey guys! I really like tracks two and six off of the yellow cd!” Do you have any for us to sign cos we’d love to! “No! All I have are mp3’s cos I’m too cheap and don’t care enough about the true artistic nature of music to buy cd’s! Yay!!!” And then after you tell them that there will be a long awkward silence, and in that silence they are contemplating punching you because they know you have never truly supported them. (NOTE: This is for people out there who have five thousand mp3’s and NO real cds. It doesn’t matter if all you can afford to buy are one or two albums a month at least you are still helping out the metal scene and that is all that matters) There’s also a sense of pride that collector’s and fans have when they obtain rare, hard to find albums. I dropped a lot on the original 1995 Savage Poetry and I rule because of it. Seriously though, you know you feel good when you look at your collection and you have Sonata Arctica’s Full Moon demo (hey! Someone out there has it) or were there to grab your Soundhouse Tapes the day they came out, or getting a hold of Death Metal sampler put out by Noise Records that had some small bands such as Helloween or Hellhammer on it. If all you have are mp3’s Who cares? You have a “rare” demo on a digital format that probably fifty thousand other people have. I would rather spend five years hunting down Sonata Arctica’s old Tricky Beans / Means demos than go out and download them. I think that is one more thing that separates metal heads from the casual fan. Loyal band dedication, for without that, there would be no more bands.

So that was my Metal Musings for this week. Feel free to post your own musings and comments as well below. Will there be a volume II? Like I said before, there just might be. I do know that if there is one it won’t be for a while. Believe me though, if you’ve ever talked to me you know I can never get bored discussing metal and can go off for days. Hey what can I say? I love this music like none other.