We all know how bands fronted by other celebrities such as actors, fashion guru’s, comedians etc. tend to go to waste after a short time in the music business. These guys however, fronted by Norwegian somewhat bizarre and often nasty yet hilarious comedian Kristoffer Schau have risen to fame in the metal/hardcore-scene in Norway, and this is where it started to go well for these guys. With a name like The Cumshots, one would think that this is pretty much a fraud, a parody band, something entirely unserious. Well that is wrong.

For those who knew Schau from earlier though probably already had a hunch that he seems to have some personal issues well as being a very angry and dark being which can pretty much be read by glancing on the song-titles as well as skimming through the lyrics. The Cumshots wouldn’t have achieved their success based solely on Schau’s already established status, he has gathered some of the very best in the punk/rock/metal-scene to accompany him on stage, in studio and during song-writing sessions, and the result kicks some serious ass.

Mixing catchy rock n’ roll riffs with a touch of Turbonegro and a small bunch of later American hardcore as well as harsh, death-like growl-y shouts from Mr. Schau should make a fair argument for referring to this as Death n’ Roll. The catchy opener and bizarrely titled Praying for Cancer kicks things of with a riff that could be dragged straight out of the eighties, raving mad and aggrieved vocals, and solid pounding drums (I swear I‘m hearing a tambourine as well) that clutches your attention while the chorus hooks you into misery with sing-along lines from hell. The slow, slightly Candlemass-doomy yet crushing 6-minuter Like Pouring Salt on a Slug is painfully cutting through your flesh yet still with the sense of melancholic melodies that grabs you despite the invaluable darkness Schau spits from his wretched mouth and guitarists El Doom and Freddie Tennessee produce with powerful axe-hacks. Album highlight I Drink Alone speeds things up again, as a Lemmy-like distorted bass-groove kicks maybe the most catchy and melodic song on the album off. El Doom provides nice clean vocals on another chorus that is easy to get hooked on. The thrash-y Megadeth-like Punchdrunk on Death continues the festival of sin and violence, and machinegun riffs takes control while nifty keyboards play their part on a chorus that is once again drenched in melody and emotions.

The last couple of songs continue in the same vein, yet not as in intense and memorable as the five first death-punches that’ll knock the breath out of you. The last song however, the bitter, violent, suicidal angry and crushing Baptized in Broken Glass sums up everything perfectly, with introducing stoner doom-riffs that’ll bring down mountains as well as fast, kamikaze-riffing that could’ve been taken straight out of Pantera‘s Vulgar Display of Power.

If you’re a fan of relentless, uncompromising yet melodic metal with a hint of both death, stoner doom, hardcore, and straight up delightful Rock n’ Roll beats, you would definitely not want to miss out on this one. The production is massively thick and dirty, the song-writing and performance both excellent, and the brutal and violently sinful yet slightly humorous approach makes for a great ride for fans of hardcore, metalcore, modern melodic death and thrash. Highly recommended.