.Editorial - The TRUE, REAL Metalhead: A Selective Intellect Or A Narrow - Minded Bastard?
Metal Reviews

Release year: 2004
Reviewed by Aleksie

Hello, my comrades and welcome to my first editorial. Many of you might be wondering the harsh nature of the headline. Let me elaborate the occurrence that made me write this editorial, and you will understand better. It all started with a small debate between myself and another enthusiastic metalhead on the message board of my Alive In Athens – review. I was the pro-Iced Earth side and he was the con-Iced Earth side. Now my point here has nothing to do with any specific band, I just wanted to mention that here. Our debate went on for a couple of posts, in very orderly and fine fashion. Then David (his name) put his latest 2 posts, which are no less orderly than the others, but they contained some parts that made me want to write this. Here are the posts:

“I dont care how many records he sells. If you ask the real metal fans about Iced Earth they will laugh at you. You can't ask these Freedom Call homos walking around wearing hammerfall t-shirts..thats Iced Earth's audience. People who want good power metal should listen to Steel Attack's first album, Nocturnal Rites's first 2, and Lost Horizon. Aside from those bands Power Metal has become oversaturated with bands that sound the same, or in IE's case recycle riffs to the point where you want to puke. Gamma Ray did this on their last album, so did Blind Guardian, but they only recently ran out of ideas..their other albums kick ass. Iced Earth lost my attention after Dark Saga.” Post #2: "I know that very few good metal albums have been released in in the 90's and no the 00's. All the good stuff was in the eighties and if you're gonna tell me that all these pussy power metal bands are good then you're off your rocker. Iced Earth can be lumped into the category of power metal bands who just worship maiden and priest and don't come out with anything original. And Nocturnal Rites and Lost Horizon are not as gay as Hammerfall because they write better songs, perform them better, and dont sound like pussies. Nocturnal Rites first two albums are the most non-gay powermetal I've ever heard. Thats the closest anyone has ever come to sounding like Maiden . ANd fuck Jon Schaffer, he's not staying true to metal the way Agent Steele is. He's using the same riffs over and over again, and only recently has he let anyone co write with him. he sucks and his music sucks and you're a poser for thinking they're so great. Listen to something new power metal pussy. I recommend getting some Sadus or some old Nuclear Assault . Listen to some TRUE metal , not any of this new crap coming out."

Can you find out the parts that made me laugh pretty damn hard and inspired me to write this? In case not, they were these: If you ask the real metal fans about Iced Earth they will laugh at you. ANd fuck Jon Schaffer, he's not staying true to metal the way Agent Steele is. He's using the same riffs over and over again, and only recently has he let anyone co write with him. he sucks and his music sucks and you're a poser for thinking they're so great. Now right off the bat I want to say THIS: This editorial is by no means a personal vendetta against David. So he doesn´t have the same opinions as I do, big deal. Its good that you gave out a different opinion David, I thank you for that. You seem like a very good guy. You managed to debate without (too many;) seventh grade provocations. The headline is not a reference to you in any means, do not take it the wrong way. Or actually, that would have been the case after the first one of those posts. After the second one, you seemed a lot more like the traditional old school ignoramus with some preferences in the new breed of metal. You know the type, whose opinions are general facts *insert winking smiley face here*. Nono, You have posted very coherent and good posts after those. I guess you are a mixed person in voicing your opinions;) My point is that those sentences made me think about one of the biggest flaws in the metal community of today in my opinion – the concept of the “TRUE METALHEAD!”

As I read and laughed, I wondered in my head with a sarcastic voice: “Oh, so because I support and still dig the hell out of Iced Earth, I am not a real metalhead? DAMN! So because I like Freedom Call I am a “homo”? DAMN! And because I have friends who wear Hammerfall T-shirts they are no more real metalheads then me and maybe even more gay than me? DAMN, It doesn´t seem to be going too good for me, does it? How in the hell do they let a fakewimp metalhead like me write for this page?” But after the amusement and over-the-top sarcasm went away, I started to think about how it also sometimes pisses me off to hear babble about “True metalheads”.

Lets admit it: you have done it, I sure as hell have done it, we all have done it at some point in our growth in metal. We have claimed that someone is not a real metal fan because of this and that or whatever. Take me for example as I am today. I enjoy a wide variety of music, from Elton John to Antonio Vivaldi, and from Jurassic 5 (one of the few great rap groups that I know) to Children Of Bodom. Hell, I even like some Slipknot and that Linkin Park song, Numb. Hard to believe your eyes and ears, eyh? I LIKE SOME SLIPKNOT AND THAT LINKIN PARK SONG, NUMB ! Hunt Me down! Shackle me with scolding chains! Hoist me onto a top of a stake! Make a cattle prod that reads POSER and scorch my skin full of the marks of the traitor! Then dance around my mallcore-infested corpse while listening to Dark Funeral, Deicide or some other “Satan is our master, TRUUEEEVIL”-mumbo jumbo!!! If I would have met myself in another body about 4 years ago, I would have detested him as a poser too. Then again, back then I was a 14-year old, obnoxious, spoilt brat. What does that tell us about YOU?

Sorry, got a bit carried away there -insert BIIIIG smiley face here-

I will still probably buy the upcoming Slipknot CD in the summer. Oh, and those two songs by Staind, Outside and So Far Away, are quite good indeed. How´s THAT for a poser?!? Getting under your skin yet? A little provocation is always in place;)

But I am truly bothered by the narrow-mindedness of a lot of my metal brothers and sisters. Of course every one can write off a narrow mind by just saying “That just is not my type of music”. When it is said after hearing some of the aforementioned music, then fine, your mind, your call. I sure don´t like every form of music there is in the world, hell no! I dont like Limp Bizkits music that much. The Mission Impossible theme song rewrite was pretty good by I would credit most of that to their ex-guitarist Wes Borland, who left the sinking ship. I detest the money machine that is MTV just as much as the next person who visits this site. But I don´t hate individuals because of it. What sense would that make? It is much more fun to LAUGH at the poor VJs who have to say everything the program executives order them to say. You know, when they slur "What a great song, what an awesome artist"-type comments in the duration of 0.36 seconds and move on to the next video. Yeah, you sure seemed to like it a LOT, hot dang! I am impressed! I think that is unintentional comedy at its finest:D Amusement is always much better then hate, wouldn´t you say? But back to the subject.
But when this is said before hearing a single note of the music that is not supposed to be “your type”, it just doesn´t sound so convincing, now does it? This is my case. I have seen so many debates between people with the same tastes in music and in metal, that go along very smoothly. But when a little crossroads appears in the “likes” and/or “dislikes”, the thing goes haywire. Suddenly the other one is no metalhead at all!?!? HE IS A POSER!!! Suddenly best friends become twisted opponents! Gay people turn disgustingly straight! Straight people become raving homosexuals! Hate is flying around with little bounds! And all this because of what, the other one just does not think the chorus in Bonded By Blood is that great? I admit that I am exaggerating, but that is the best way to get points like this across.

Many of you would probably base your "false metalhead"-accusations on the so called "teenybopper-metallers". The products of the music industry of today. You know, "those f*cking poser bastards who catch mallcore s*it on MTV and claim that to be SOOOOO heavy and THE REAL SHIT! They should know better! F*ck you and your Fubu/Wu Tang clothing, you don´t know anything about metal!" By the way, that was also known as sarcasm. I can see why this can annoy many people. You think that these "false fans" give a false representation of the average metal fan in the eyes of the world, for example. But come on, answer me honestly here. What is it away from you if some kid that likes Slipknot calls him/herself a metalhead? And please, TRY to answer without the F-word here, mmmkay? The best that can happen is that the heavy guitars and brutal drumming divert the kids attention to more music of the same kind. And the worst that can happen? A group of teens think: "Thats a real metalhead!" instead of saying that YOU are the true metalhead of the class, not him! Not that fake asshole!! BY THE HAMMERS OF THOR AND ODIN, NOOOOO! THAT CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN! PLEASE, LUCIFER, MAKE IT STOP! SMITE THEM DOWN WITH THY FIREBALLS OF ETERNAL WRATH!

What is one of the most important messages in metal? What is one of the building blocks that it stands for? UNITY! From Rage to Judas Priest, almost every single great metal band has made a song about unity, standing up together for a better life. What the hell has happened to that message? I often hear metal fans berating rap because of its violent nature, always referring to the murders of 2Pac aka Tupac Shakur and Notorius B.I.G. aka Christopher Wallace in the hands of probable gang members and therefor, probable rap fans. But can´t you see that we are acting no better! There will always be the Varg Vikernes´ of the world who stab their band members in the back (no pun intended), and the spewers of satanic nonsense, but the majority of metal has always sent out for a message of unification. Just because someone is not “TRUE” or “REAL” means she/he can´t be championing the cause of metal? Someone please tell me what sense does that make? I am not trying to get people to like every kind of metal or other musical genre there is out there. Hell, then I would have to convince myself about it:) I am just trying to make people think before they berate other people on grounds of musical tastes.

In fact, I would like to pose you the questions. Do you recognize yourself from this “He is not real, He is not true, screw him”-scenario? Do you care or have you ever cared about the concept of the “True metalhead”? Of course there are many ways to understand the term “True metalhead”, but I trust everyone understood my point here. And on my point, no, I DO NOT CARE. I did before, that I will be the first to admit. But not anymore. If I find a person on the street who enjoys some metal songs, maybe not everything but a bit of this and that, she/he is very "metal" in my books. The world is fortunately filled with Metalheads, fans of metal music. Why start categorizing them? What´s the point? Everything supports the cause in some way. Lets just be plain Metalheads: a unified, bonafide, allcrushing, allnightmoshing, asskicking force that knows no bounds or limits of power! Why fight among brothers and sisters?! The concepts of "a TRUE and a FALSE metalhead" are utterly ridiculous to me. Sure it is nice to pass these concepts around as jokes from time to time. Because that is what they are to me, DAMN GOOD JOKES:) But too often I see them passed around as matters of life and death. Ridiculous. Ridiculous as Manowar. But hey, at least Manowar does the ridiculous part in a DAMN entertaining and fist-pumping manner. They are the few people in the world who are allowed to spread the "Wimps And Posers, Leave The Hall!"-message:) They have earned the right to do so;) HAIL AND KILL! How is it in your case?

Hope I raised some thoughts or at least provided for some overtly cheap entertainment with the editorial. Don´t expect me to bust my ass off every other week for a post like our warrior of editorials, Ben;) This was a result of an inspiration, a whim of the moment. Guess I am a lazy guy with too much time on my hands right now. Remember the wise words of Clint Eastwood as Harry Callahan aka Dirty Harry: "Opinions Are Like Assholes - Everybodys Got One!"

Till the next time, Let The Metal Flow and Keep The Unity Alive!

-Aleksie, apparently not a real metalhead – but still damn (too?) proud of himself-

Killing Songs :
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