Metal Reviews

This is a must read...LMAO

http://www.entertainment.inuk.com/music ... guide.html

Great site.

Bullshit.
You could do this easily for Black or Power - without changing too much of the contents.

Well black and power metal are pretty easy to make fun of (I mean they dress like fantasy warriors and death knights). But nonetheless, you would need to change a lot of the contents. And those music types involve talent as well. Well, power metal atleast.

i got one for black metal from deathkvlt, which is exraordinatily funny, and recognizable at times :oops:

I've got a lot of those... but the best ones are for power and black, especially the last rule for a tr00 guy

yeah i think i have that one:

1. don't be gay
2. be true
3. everyone that is not true is gay
4. be grim
5. be necro
6. be necro and grim at the same time whenever possible
etc.

They are so recognizable:
94. own all darkthrone darkthrone releases, listen to exactly none of them :mrgreen:

http://www.metalstorm.ee/fun/index.php

You can find nu, black, doom, and prog there.

They have hardcore, as well.

Nail on the head, anyone?

LOL!

"33. You think that by dressing, looking and talking like every other Mallcore simpleton that you're showing your individuality and expressing your uniqueness."

"66. You've heard real metal and you don't like it."

"89. You use your index, pinky AND thumb when making the metal salute."

and the prog:
39. Make sure your bass-player has as many strings as possible. Don`t worry if he uses approximately three of the 11 strings on his custom Carvin 30 kg bass regularly, just give him a bass solo in the middle of your mandatory instrumental tune(more on that later)where he can really show the extent of his instruments capabilities. Imagine the range of scales on an instrument like that!

30kg bass.. LOL!

Funny shit. I've actually got another entry for that list of ways to start a nu-metal band:

Make sure at least one of your songs is featured in an EA Games or EA Sports title.

that's a bit arogant Jaden.. I think there are some talented composers and musicians on the nu-metal scene.. sure they sold their souls to the north american entertainment industry but they remain talented fellows playing good songs with bad bad bad lyrics, bad bad bad arrangements, lots of annoying clichés... all in all, not good music but that doesn't mean that none of those people actually possess a hint of talent....

Talent? Drop D barring is talent? It's possible that they are talented musicians and are just not using that talent for whatever reason, but unlikely. They're sellout hacks, and they care more about their money and their image than their music, so I really doubt they'd take the time to become talented musicians.

Drop D = lack of talent?

What the fuck is your definition of talent when you consider a type of tuning untalented? And bar chords may be easy, but if written right they can be good.

Don't call something untalented just because you don't like it. Sell-out, yes. Cliched, yes. Untalented, no.

I said drop D barring. I was just being specific, not saying that drop D was bad. Barring is bad when it's all you do. I can handle a bit of barring, as long as the band does a lot more than just bar chords. And they cannot be good if they are all you do, because they'll be boring.

Ok, I thought you were talking about both the tuning and the barring, not just specifing the bar chords. I don't particularly agree with barring being boring when done all the time, but that's more pure opinion than lack of songwriting talent. It's not technical, but then again, that's not important to me.

Do most people that buy Darkthrone albums never listen to them? I listen to A Blaze in the Northern Sky and Panerfaust quite a bit.

Drop D? We're way beyond that now. Most bands are in Drop B.