Metal Reviews

Which one gets the award:

Manowar
Rhapsody
Hammerfall

I think Manowar takes it why well if you have ever followed these guys since the 80's you can see why.

I'm going with Rhapsody on this one. Unicorns, enchanted lands and dragons flying in the sky might be the reason. Still I like all of them equally, who said music needs to be about everyday life.

I voted for Manowar, but thats not a bad thing. I think their cheesyness is what makes them great, Manowar rules.

Followed by Rhapsody, a band which takes cheese to a new level, i find it hard sometimes to get into these guys, but overall they are ok.

Last is HammerFall, which is one of my favourite PM bands. They have a bit of cheese, but like Manowar, it works to their advantage. HammerFall rules as well

Oh don't get me wrong I like both Hammerfall and Rhapsody(didn't get into Manowar though) Hammerfall being one of my top 5 fav bands and besides nothing releases stress like hearing battles of epic quality with dragons being slain and stuff on the car radio in bumper to bumper traffic

Treat this as a fun topic!!!!!

Rhapsody! Manowar encapsulate all that is cheesy on purpose!! And Hammerfall really aren't all that cheesy...but Rhapsody, holy crap, they're SO cheesy! I can dig on the concept, but have you ever seen their videos?? Holy crap, they're hilarious!! Battlelore does that sort of schtick to perfection and it's really cool, Rhapsody is comedy.

Masterplan

Masterplan? :?

Its got to be Rhapsody - Manowar do it on purpose whereas the Italians seem to take themselves deadly serious. Which is fine by me.

agreed

btw, I like both Rhapsody & Manowar
not so much Hammerfall

I voted Rhapsody. They are my favorite band out of that list, but they are definitley the cheesiest of all cheese.

I am wondering why both Dream Evil and Majesty were not added to this cheese list. I mean, we all know how cheesy Dream Evil is, but those who dont know Majesty very well, look at their band photo....




LOL!

Want more proof of cheese, read on....

HEAVY METAL BATTLECRY

Chorus
Heavy Metal Battlecry
Echoes in the mountains high.
Heavy Metal Battlecry
Hail! Hail! Hail!
Heavy Metal Battlecry
Fight until we win or die!
Heavy Metal Battlecry
Hail! Hail! Hail!

Verse 2
The drums shake the ground, the guitars shall sound
Like the fire of hell. You know what that means!
All of this place is rumbled by bass.
Can you hear my mighty screams?
This band is born to rock. Our battle won´t stop.
So join our legions with pride.
But if you don´t like our style: Fuck off and die!!!
Dig a grave and take your lies!!!

REIGN IN GLORY

Verse 2
To all the posers in the media scene.
Another puppet on the TV screen.
True sons of Metal live to be free.
That is the only thing, that matters to me.
To all the fuckers making fun of this band:
Don´t you ever mess with our fans.
Hey poser, we know what you do.
So beware, we are huntin´ for you.

You gotta add these two bands to this poll, i think both Dream Evil and Majesty are cheesier than HammerFall, and up there with Manowar and Rhapsody.

Yes, they are cheesy sellouts. Listen to phrase "Step into the Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!!!!!!!!!!" for example, cheesy as hell

There is more cheese in Rhapsody and Manowar than in Masterplan. If Masterplan is going to get the cheesiest label, then you might as well include, Freedom Call, Elvenking, Zonata, Wuthering Heights, Yngwie, Virgin Steele, and any band containing the words, Steel, Dragon, or Iron. So basically all power metal.

The most cheese belongs to Manowar and Rhapsody, b/c they so openly exploit it and literally everyone knows who they are and what they sing about.

Edit: IMO

Ehhh... this is a tough one, well first let me start by ruling Hammerfall out for being more of a lite-version of the other two bands in the cheese department.

The two bands have very strong smelling cheese, Manowar has their silly self promotional lyrics and the word "poser" but on the other hand Rhapsody have extremely shallow fantasy lyrics ("the evil dark lord of the holy lands" and such). I think Rhapsody wins the price though thanks to Fabio's "acting" which appears in such songs as "Tears of a Dying Angel" from their "Rain of a Thousand Flames" EP.
It's silly beyond belief, here's an excerpt:

"Come mighty warrior... come to help your... your...
Oh, god!... oh god... no... They found it, they found it... the ancient words are going to be pronounced..."

or how about this?

"...he's clearly preparing his plans of war to attack the people of these wonderful valleys..."

Though almost paradoxically, both bands do have a lot of great songs in their discography. Of course, if I want to listen to Manowar with much less cheese I just have to put Virgin Steele - Invictus in my CD-player (best album Manowar never made), while Rhapsody don't really have any non-cheesy counterpart.

Not Fabio.

It might be Sir jay Lansford, they do sound very alike. Nevertheless, it sounds ridiculous.

the cheesiest passages in Rhapsody are the new narrations from Lee...

"It was a good time for all creatures of the earth, but fate decreed that the dark prophecy of a demon knight could bring a tragic end to this peace
scarring their lives forever. Shortly before his defeat in the last of the primordial wars between the heavens and hells the evil son of the Hell God Kron,
known as Nekron, withdrew to his lair in the underworld.
There, sensing his impending deathhe inscribed a testament of pure evil in seven black books. One by one six of these books were discovered through out
the ages, however the seventh, last and most terrible of all contained the secret of his resurrection.
He commanded seven immortal demons to carry out his dark plan.
But they were turned into stone by the angels of the crystal realms.
And so his dreams slept with them until a time came when the forces of evil would usurp the earth.
Nekron would rule in the unholy name! of cosmic chaos.
And this time he would reign supreme!"

And

"And so the Order of the White Dragon decreed Khaas the hero of the middle lands. He and princess Lothen from the kingdom of the ancient waterfalls,
together with Tharish, elven king of the caverns and myself, Iras Algor from Hor-Lad, would travel the path of incredible danger and great adventure.
Dargor the shadowlord would lead us through the ancient underworld of Dar-Kunor. Finally the time had come to find the legendary seventh black book, that
containing the worst of all the known prophecies"

Rhapsody

well rhapsody... If you have the DVD version of "power of the dragon" you know why.. The music videos is just... well how can i express it in words.... hmm I really cant.. But they rule anyway.. But it is sad they take them selves so seriously.. I would like to see em try the same music with different lyrics..

I like all three, but it is obvious that it has to be Rhapsody without a doubt.

+1