Metal Reviews

Mixed feelings. On the one hand there is a lot of good things going on. On the other hand there are great things going on that are just slightly out of reach (I love that song, btw) that rear their heads and make me question everything.

I have about 65 tracks done, about 25 are ready to be mixed, but I like to review things a couple times a day to fuck with it and like I mentioned before at times the cracks appear that didn't seem like an issue at all. Sometimes those things go away and sometimes they warrant more work.

There's nothing worse than wanting to fix a small mistake but you only have the stereo track. I'm waffling between the attitude of recording every line one at a time until it is 100% perfect and just recording along to a song and if there are no fuckups, just going with it, forgetting about a flubbed line that's noticable for a half syllable. These things need to sound like they belong on a studio album, but at some point that gets inauthentic but regardless the original band did the same shit. I'm avoiding effects, not for integrity reasons, but because it's a pain in the ass and people want to know what you sound like through a PA. That's the whole point. It's tough. I couldn't imagine how hard this aspect would be. We can't do it Tom Scholz's way and I'm not just going to run a tape of practice either. Some of those voices are fucking hard to get right and make it sound like a professional recording.

Trixy! Used working as an excuse not to go to a family dinner, then used the dinner as an excuse to leave work when I wanted to. Then I played clarinet and guitar for two hours. My throat hurts. I'm happy.

About to do some plumbing without turning the water off. Because that's how I roll. Mildly worrisome.

Finally some snow. This has been a very crappy winter so far so when it did this i got really excited. On a side note i knew i should of gotten the 120g ipod then the cheaper 8g ipod i got. It's Basically Full and i only got 50 to my name and i know 20 of that is gonna be gone to cigarettes and weed by the end of today. Ive been tempted to get a Sunn o))) shirt too. I just wish i could get my damn job training done so i can start my job and save up money for a nice sized Ipod.

I quit. This PhD thing was a mistake from the get-go, every single cell of my body hates research. Thinking about it makes me sick. Everything about it disgusts me. I hate it so much it hurts.

Now I just need to write an e-mail to my supervisor.

whoa!!

how long did you think about this? and what now?

Since June. So, more than six months. I've reached the end of the line, the point of no return. I feel the urge to move the fuck on, as far as I can from this bloody University.

Now, I still have a pay until October. I'm going to keep busy and involved in side projects I'm in, because I don't want to let people down. And I'm going to look for a job. I'd take anything, as long as it's compatible with my health issues (not too difficult), and the pay is at least equal to what I earn right now (not difficult at all).

have you considered economic consultancies, for example? my friend was big on industrial economics, wanted to work at NERA or Charles River Associates or stuff like that. admittedly these are the only 2 economic consultancies i can name lol.

my roomie in Toulouse was doing that too (he was in town to study with Jean Tirol and other nerds at the Toulouse School of Economics), but he completed his phd and is now searching for low-paying jobs as research assistant in any uni that will take him.

I can't even name one
This is an option, but really... I wouldn't mind something completely different. Consulting, florist, heavyweight champion... the fuck if I care.

I feel great

I'm afraid that will happen to me. Luckily, I'm in something I really enjoy. I feel like that is the best route to take with life choices. Whatever makes you not want to kill yourself anymore than one already does for other reasons is what I base my decisions on.

Schoolwork this morning, now, later, then after class, before I go to bed, tomorrow when I wake up, till class, after class, through dinner, then while getting ready. Until I go out dancing tomorrow, which I may or may not be able to if I can't find a single person to go out with me, I'm going to be doing schoolwork, reading essays on Kant and Nietzsche and Hegel, reading some Freud and having to write a paper on drives.

We just started getting first snow of the winter this week. It's pretty, but not being able to bike to school sucks.

Fixed my plumbing today. My bathtub faucet was running at full blast constantly and now my place is just quiet. It's so nice. Waiting on a laptop part and I'll fix that too. The inverter was fucked and turned my screen red tinted and it flashed.

Deciding whether to go out dancing tonight. None of my friends will want to so I'll have to be loner guy looking for a group of people to dance with which is incredibly awkward but it can pan out sometimes. I just really want to dance :(

Snow, jazz, Australian Open. Occasionally, homework. Life's pretty good right now.

E-mail sent. The best thing I've ever written. She should react well enough.

Feeling great. Second exam out of three this morning went much better than the first, got myself some new cool jeans (cigarette fit) from All Saints, and after a carbonara dinner with the missus I'm heading down to a mate's house for some Magic The Gathering and then possibly town.

The cool guy in me wants to laugh at you until I choke to death, the nerd in me wants to join you guys badly.

Now I know why I'm a centrist. I'm full of contradictions. It's killing me.

I now feel less ashamed about my whole card game playing thing that I've been dragged into again.

Darksteel deck with Fold into Aether, Ornithopther and Darksteel Colossus combo, bitch.

Drunk. With family, unfortunately.

You're turning me on.