Metal Reviews

April 1, 2008 - In a shocking change of events, Anthrax has recently announced that they have fired what was originally supposed to be their new singer, Dan Nelson.

According to drummer Charlie Benante, "I just don't believe the new singer had what it took to fully bring the band back into the mainstream. I mean, We've Come For You All flopped because John Bush's voice just didn't have the accessibility the music needed for us to make the comeback we wanted to make with the album. We need somebody the mainstream can identify with, otherwise if our music isn't selling, then what's the point of producing it in the first place?"

Fortunately, Charlie Benante has, in fact, found a capable replacement for John Bush in the form of the now-former Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst. According to Benante, "Mr. Durst has it all! He has an excellent singing voice, and every MTV fan can relate to him. May be now we can finally relive the success we had 15 years ago with The Sound Of White Noise. Plus, Mr. Durst and I relate very well on a personal level. Both of us know that money is what matters most when you produce music. And we are both also very sensitive guys who aren't afraid to express our feelings in public." Mr. Durst, meanwhile, had this to say, "It fucking rocks to be with fucking Anthrax, dude! Now, we fucking get to be with the fucking band that made us what we are to-fucking-day. What with their fucking brilliant invention of fucking rap metal in the late-80's and all!"

Of course, with the new frontman comes a change in music stylings. And Benante has announced that the nu-metal influences on We've Come For You All will be substantially turned up on this release. Basically, this will be a rap metal record. Which, according to Charlie, will definitely bring the band the mainstream exposure they need so that they don't have to take individual day jobs.

Neither Fred Durst nor Charlie Benante commented any further on the matter.

April 1. joke?

Obviously.

The fake Benante quote genuinely sounded like something he would say, heheh.

Let's hope so.

Dimwits. Compile the letters in bold and you get 'april fools'.

I aint no dimwit boy!

I wouldn't have been so surprised to be honest.

The sad truth. Hell, they were serious about the Corey Taylor thing.

Him or Kerry King !

The best news about Anthrax would be hearing that they're done making music.

You like In Flames.

a.k.a. "you suck, stop flaming good bands"

I liked We've Come For You All personally. I know I'm pretty much the only one. But it's been 5 years since that album came out, and I'm pretty much to the point of not caring about anything this band does anymore. The recent singer fiascos have been embarrasing, and show a side of Charlie and Scott that I don't particularly like very much.

I like WCFYA too. I wasn't actually knocking the album itself with my joke. I was just making fun of how, after the album sold poorly in the States, Charlie was posting all these piss rants on Blabbermouth about how metal is dead and Americans are stupid... JUST BECAUSE HIS FUCKING ALBUM DIDN'T SELL!!!

I like it too.... It's, imho, the best album with John Bush.

You like Anthrax.

Lets sum it up would you?

On one hand we've got one of the creators of thrash metal, a band that helped redifining metal... On the other a melodeath act that sold out a few years ago turning more and more commercial... What would you say is the most important bands of both?

It's okay to have bad taste, we all have our own but we don't go rubbing it in eryone's faces...

but will they have him on guitar

It's April 3rd so I fell for this hard.

God fucking dammit.