Metal Reviews

Burzum is bad???

Varg's prowess can't even be disputed. You must not be a BM fan...

...or a well adjusted person

He's being a smart ass.

How did I know that this thread would reek of the the sour stench of failure?

Because Black Metal fucking rules and no one gets it.

I'm not a fan of 'worst bands in X genre' threads generally. Hardly productive.

this also

As is 98% of thrash, or any other genre for that matter.

The concept behind the creation of the thread had potential, though. So, IMO, the failure of the thread is not due to the thread starter.
It could have been used to alert others of truly terrible bands.
Bands such as Black Howling, Lycanthropys Spell, Deus Despectum, Peste Noir, Cold Moon, Nightbringer to name a few.
Of course their are legion of unknown garbage.
For every worthy name, their are ten that don't ge it.
But, as has been pointed out already, this can be said of any genre.

98% of music sucks.

The intention of this thread was to list bands mainly for a laugh, those who have actually endeavored to listen to the bands being mentioned, I thought it would be interesting to also post their reactions. I have another addition to add Xibalba of Mexico, yet another band that things the evil atmosphere will make up for the complete lack of ability of the man to play his instruments. The drums sound like tin cans and the 'riffing' is almost inaudible..

Right. I am not debating the thread's intentions, but they always end up derailed. I will seek out the legitimately bad bands for a laugh now.

That's just because you're so leet and kvlt.

Oh no you didn't.


unless Peste Noir is a different band than Peste Noire

There are literally countless bands out there that exhibit those traits. The problem is remebering their names. The ones I listed are just the tip of the iceber, so to speak, and are still fresh in my memory. USBM seems to have an abundance of garbage bands, somehow. Same with so-called depressive black metal... there are a few noteworthy bands out there, and when it is done well it is good, but there are so many that are just the same recycled bullshit, not even depressive, actually; why do so many "depressive" bands sound so happy?

haha, sorry, man, gotta call 'em as I see 'em.

The lure of minimalism is a particularly odd one if I may say so, given that many bands especially in the bm underground try to do what Burzum or Ildjarn did, and yet crash and burn on different levels. Of course the same can be said for any style of music, but in particular black metal due to the musics simplicity.

Satyricon's latest albums are not easily digested here..

That's the problem, though. Too many worthless poseurs mistake lo-fi noise with minimalist art, hence, the glut of garbage that masquerades itself as black metal.
Ildjarn is a good example of this.
On the other hand, Burzum is very stark and minimal, yet the music is much more powerful than the sum of it's parts.

Take a band like Pink Floyd, for instance, particularly Nick Mason. They are all obviously very talented, but listening to Mason's drum work, you'd think he wasn't all that great. But that minimalist style is exactly what suits Floyds' music. Anything more would ruin it.
A true musicain knows what NOT to play as well as what is called for at any given time.