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Radagast
 Post subject: Eyesore 1-0 Blabbermouth
PostPosted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:58 pm 
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Ist Krieg
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Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2004 5:37 pm
Posts: 7932
Location: Glasgow
Refering to Blabbermouth's shitty review (9/10, though) for Cellador's debut:
Quote:
COMMENT | The Reviewer And YOU Are Both Retarded!
posted by : Eyesore
7/4/2006 5:01:12 PM

The score is perfect, this album is killer, but the review is lame as always:

"The songs? Every one is a highlight. Few albums maintain this level of consistency from track to track. Honestly, pick a song, any song. Largely unconcerned with tempo variation, the group attacks with a vengeance from beginning to end; every chorus is memorable and the intensity level never wanes. Whether it is the harmony vocals on the chorus of "Wakening" or the triumphant melodies of "No Chances Lost" and "A Sign Far Beyond", the quality level remains sky high."

Wow! Every one is a highlight! Thus, no need to actually write anything that shows you listened to the album, just some vague references to "harmony vocals on the chorus" of one song and the "triumphant melodies" of two others. What is a triumphant melody exactly? And, for the record, the singer sounds NOTHING like fucking Bruce Dickinson, nice name-drop, though. Asshole.

As for you turds that post here, this band sounds like Kiske/Hansen-era Helloween. Kiske is the vocal comparison, that era of Helloween is the musical comparison. Those fit the closest. Just because Hot Topic is carrying the new Dragonforce album doesn't mean shit, you still know NOTHING about music.

Now go delete you MP3s of this album and BUY it. It's like $9.99! Surely that new spiked pleather wristband at Hot Topic can wait.

Right on, tell it sister! :D
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Eyesore
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 12:21 am 
Hahahahaha! I hate Blabbermouth's reviewers with a passion! They flat out suck!

Did you see this one?

Quote:
COMMENT | Keith, You're An Asshole!
posted by : Eyesore
7/3/2006 3:19:32 AM


What the fuck are risky vocals? Vocals that might explode? Vocals that if not properly strapped in may fall over and crush you? Vocals that if driven too fast may unexpectedly lose control? Cut the shit.

"...triangulated somewhere between PAIN OF SALVATION, NEVERMORE, DEADSOUL TRIBE and EVERGREY."

How about this: "...triangulated somewhere between ZERO HOUR, REDEMPTION, STRIDE and DEGREE ABSOLUTE."

There you go! Now edit your review with that. Stop WRITING and start LISTENING, Keithy! Your reviews are worded well, but they tend to say nothing.


Or this one?

Quote:
COMMENT | Let's Break It Down...
posted by : Eyesore
5/22/2006 6:09:10 PM


01. Nu-Metal is born.
02. Spineshank shows up.
03. Nu-Metal dies.
04. Spineshank disappears.
05. Metalcoremo is born.
06. Silent Civilian shows up.
07. Metalcoremo dies (a prediction with a guarantee, I'm a psychic)
08. Silent Civilian disappears (a prediction with a guarantee, I'm a pyschic)
09. [Insert new genre force-fed by corporate mainstream cock-gobblers] is born.
10. [Insert new bands featuring ex-Spineshank/Silent Civilian members here] shows up.


Quote:
COMMENT | Thrash? You Fags!
posted by : Eyesore
5/23/2006 12:52:30 AM


You disgrace REAL thrash bands by insisting this shit is thrash! What kind of horse shit is that! It's as bad as you teenage fucks insisting that Chaos A.D. is a nu-metal album! Burn My Eyes is a nu-metal album! Vulgar Display Of Power is a nu-metal! Get the fuck out! Clueless asshats.


The Saviours review was the best:

Quote:
COMMENT | Good Band!
posted by : Eyesore
5/15/2006 12:48:48 AM


Their Warship EP is good, 2 out of the 3 songs, at least. I've heard two tracks from this album, I like 'em. Look forward to it.

37th post! Faggots.



COMMENT | Yeah!
posted by : Eyesore
5/15/2006 2:26:03 PM


First post!

Morons.



COMMENT | That's Right!
posted by : Eyesore
5/16/2006 2:56:36 AM


Shitbags.



COMMENT | Assholes!
posted by : Eyesore
5/16/2006 7:27:47 PM


First post!


DEF LEPPARD!!!!1!1!!one!!11!!11!!!eleven!1!!!



COMMENT | and ...
posted by : john_h11
5/17/2006 1:09:41 AM


the only post for a day as well! Cool cover.




www.remantsofreason.com



COMMENT | Get Out Of My...Uh...Review...Area...Thingy...
posted by : Eyesore
5/17/2006 7:36:35 PM


Asshole!

First post!



COMMENT | This Band Sucks!
posted by : Eyesore
5/18/2006 11:42:59 PM


Kelly Clarkson KO1

You crusty turd-lickers! Eat poo!



COMMENT | First Post!
posted by : Eyesore
5/18/2006 11:43:28 PM


FUCK YEAH!



COMMENT | These Guys Suck!
posted by : Eyesore
5/19/2006 7:27:23 PM


Bunch of poser faggots!

K-FED!!!111!!!1!!!1!1!!!!!11!one!!11!



COMMENT | Loothers!
posted by : Eyesore
5/22/2006 12:28:43 AM


That is all.

First post.

:lol:
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Orion
 Post subject: Re: Eyesore 1-0 Blabbermouth
PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 12:46 am 
Offline
Einherjar

Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 4:07 am
Posts: 2580
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Radagast wrote:
Refering to Blabbermouth's shitty review (9/10, though) for Cellador's debut:
Quote:
COMMENT | The Reviewer And YOU Are Both Retarded!
posted by : Eyesore
7/4/2006 5:01:12 PM

The score is perfect, this album is killer, but the review is lame as always:

"The songs? Every one is a highlight. Few albums maintain this level of consistency from track to track. Honestly, pick a song, any song. Largely unconcerned with tempo variation, the group attacks with a vengeance from beginning to end; every chorus is memorable and the intensity level never wanes. Whether it is the harmony vocals on the chorus of "Wakening" or the triumphant melodies of "No Chances Lost" and "A Sign Far Beyond", the quality level remains sky high."

Wow! Every one is a highlight! Thus, no need to actually write anything that shows you listened to the album, just some vague references to "harmony vocals on the chorus" of one song and the "triumphant melodies" of two others. What is a triumphant melody exactly? And, for the record, the singer sounds NOTHING like fucking Bruce Dickinson, nice name-drop, though. Asshole.

As for you turds that post here, this band sounds like Kiske/Hansen-era Helloween. Kiske is the vocal comparison, that era of Helloween is the musical comparison. Those fit the closest. Just because Hot Topic is carrying the new Dragonforce album doesn't mean shit, you still know NOTHING about music.

Now go delete you MP3s of this album and BUY it. It's like $9.99! Surely that new spiked pleather wristband at Hot Topic can wait.

Right on, tell it sister! :D



Ha, Bruce Dickinson, way to set things straight Ken.
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noodles
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 1:58 am 
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Ist Krieg
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Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2005 7:40 am
Posts: 13758
Location: Canada
I only hear Pain of Salvation in Wastefall, mostly because their use of weird melodies/rhythms doesn't so much entertain me as give me a headache. maybe a bit of Nevermore/Zero Hour in their riffs... :?
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MetalStorm
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 4:24 am 
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Karma Whore
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Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 4:11 am
Posts: 3884
Location: From the sunshine state of Euphoria
I can see it.Eyesore on Bill O'Reilly telling people what real metal is :lol: :lol:
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Eyesore
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 5:53 am 
MetalStorm wrote:
I can see it.Eyesore on Bill O'Reilly telling people what real metal is :lol: :lol:

Mainly I'm just totally overdoing it because it's Blabbermouth and it's funny. I don't defend myself, I just talk shit! Hahaha.

I definitely don't hear Pain Of Salvation in Wastefall. I think they fall right in with those bands I mentioned.
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Listen2Anata
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:50 pm 
Offline
Svartalfar
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:44 pm
Posts: 37
Location: England!!
The rant about risky vocals just actually made me laugh out loud at work, now everyone thinks im weird, excellent stuff!Blabbermouth=owned
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Cú Chulainn
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 2:59 pm 
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Ist Krieg
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 10:19 am
Posts: 8644
Location: Aberdeen
hahaha

_________________
I am not here, then, as the accused; I am here as the accuser of capitalism dripping with blood from head to foot.

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Trooper Of Steel
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:22 pm 
Offline
Metal King
User avatar

Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2004 6:04 am
Posts: 1212
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Just went to the website (which has a nu-metal feel to it, IMO) and selected a few recent reviews at random...

Wow, such absolute trash

This reviewer, Keith Bergman, seems to cop a lot of stick from just about everyone. Its really quite amusing to read some of the comments people have made about his terrible reviews....
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Eyesore
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:40 pm 
Keith is one of those reviewers that you know doesn't listen to the album before reviewing it. He reviews it as he scans it. He's extremely vague and nonsensical 99% of the time. . I mean, in his review of The New Black he said the title track was "directionless." WTF? The song is a very structured song! Directionless? Pffft!
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noodles
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:13 pm 
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Ist Krieg
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Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2005 7:40 am
Posts: 13758
Location: Canada
I think he meant the instrumental break that doesn't really do much.
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Eyesore
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:39 pm 
noodles wrote:
I think he meant the instrumental break that doesn't really do much.

It's possible, but that's hardly the song, just the ending.
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