Metal Reviews

I'm rly sorry if there is already a thread about this, I legit couldn't find it. I'm probably an idiot.

But yeah, this is streaming:

http://www.loureedmetallica.com/listen-to-lulu.php

AND IT IS SO HILARIOUSLY BAD

I've never laughed like this at music...ever. I really just can't believe how fucking ridiculously bad this is.

I would cut my legs and tits off

Sounds like really, really shit Dinosaur Jr with some drunken hobo dribbling inanely. There's also some generic modern Metallica bits.

Doesn't bother me that they did it. But it seems musically worthless.

lol is that serious?

For those who don't know, Lou Reed was in The Velvet Underground, so pretty damn important...but shit. He sounds like your friend's senile grandfather on this.

He sounds like some of the sad pieces of human shit you see on Bum Fights.

I can imagine him diving for crack.

Well, this is essentially a Lou Reed album. I don't expect many of you to have heard him before, but this isn't unexpected for his side of things. I can't stand his music, so I was never going to like this. He's always been shitty, in my opinion.

This whole thing sounds like Lou wrote some shit, Metallica spliced and looped together some half-assed riffs in Pro Tools (because that's how they create songs now) and then both sides tried to mash them all together and call it an album.

Basically, it's fucking dreadful.

Listening to that shit is like wiping your ass with shards of glass

I think you need to be a pretty big Lou Reed fan. The songs aren't new, they're songs which Lou Reed wrote years ago but never released, based on a German play called Lulu. Metallica's only involvement in terms of writing, has been contributing to the arrangements. So, really, it's much much more a Lou Reed album than a Metallica album.

As I said in another thread, I have a friend whose pretty much gay for Lou Reed, and he's eating this up like there's no tomorrow. He's just loving it. I guess you need to be as big a Lou Reed fan as him to get it.

Pretty much. Reed fans love what they've heard. The rest of us, not so much. Haha.

I really like Lou Reed.

Of course you do, but do you like this album? I'm listening to it right now and my jaws hurt from laughing, I'm glad to hear it's more a Reed album than a Metallica one.

I AM THE TABLE. I AM.

Do you like Lou Reed, Bruce?

I haven't heard a note of this Lulu, I have ordered the album and will wait until I receive it to give it a shot.

No, otherwise I'd like Lulu, as thrashtilldeth said. I agree with him, you have to be one of his fans to like this. Or be fond of the absurd. Or be a sociopath.

edit: Anyway, not for me. I guess I am not the table

You could be one. You have to be. Try harder!

Yeah but, to do that I would have to start cheating on me and pissing on my dreams.

WHY DO I CHEAT! ON MAH-SAY-EE-ELFFFFF!

Damn this shit is priceless.

Hey I'm mocking this but I'm listening to every single second of it. It's fascinating.

To be dead to have no feeling
To be dry and spermless like a girl.
LIKE A GIRL.

I'm not defending this, but you have to remember it's based on a series of two plays written in 1895. I guess you're gonna hear some non-traditional fare.

Of course, but an hilarious listen nonetheless. 87 minutes of high degree WTFness, feat. Hetfield sounding like a fool (as often). This album is a true gem. A gift, a dream come true.

Note: I find disk 2 a lot more "conventional" than disk 1.

I actually can't wait to hear this.
Bitenfils, you're doing a great job promoting it.

Haha Well I certainly hope you're going to like your purchase. In his OP, Heatseeker call it "hilariously bad", and well, although I agree it is hilarious, I wouldn't call it bad. Just "different". Weird and clearly not for me, but worthwhile.