Metal Reviews

Without a doubt, my choice would be Nile.

What say you?

Bal-Sagoth - The Dark Liege of Chaos Is Unleashed at the Ensorcelled Shrine of A'Zura Kai (The Splendour of a Thousand Swords Gleaming Beneath the Blazon of the Hyperborean Empire Part II)

+1 good choice. Mine too. DsO have some very good songtitles and lyrics.

Anal Cunt

Emperor and the mentioned Deathspell Omega.

Father you're not a father!!!!!!!!!!!

Definitely Immolation.

Pig Destroyer, ex: Thought Crime Spree, Carrion Fairy, Scarlet Hourglass, Restraining Order Blues, Trojan Whore, Naked Trees

Demilich

"When the Sun Drank the Weight of Water"

"Inherited Bowel Levitation-Reduced Without Any Effort"

"The Planet That Once Used to Absorb Flesh in Order to Achieve Divinity and Immortality (Suffocated to the Flesh That It Desired...)"

Shai Hulud:

"Solely Concentrating on the Negative Aspects of Life"
"My Heart Bleeds the Darkest Blood"
"A Profound Hatred of Man"
"Eating Bullets of Acceptance"
"If Born From This Soil: Treatments For The Infected Foetus"
"Scornful of The Motives And Virtue of Others"
"Let Us At Last Praise the Colonizers of Dreams"
"Willing Oneself to Forget What Cannot Otherwise Be Forgiven"
"The Bonds of Those Who Have No Understanding of Consequence"
"Love Is the Fall of Every Man"

Meads Of Asphodel -

Behold The Kindred Battle Carcasses Strewn Across The Bloodied Dunes Of Gilgamesh Mute In The Frenzied Clamour Of Death's Rolling Tongue And Ravenous Bursting Steel

Falling With Lightning Rays Beamed Through The Blazing Firmament Towards The Intended Burial Ground Of Kharsag

On Graven Images I Glide Beyond the Monstrous Gates of Pandemonium to Face the Baptised Warriors of Yahweh in the Skull-Littered Plain of Esdraelon

A Canticle for the Lost Amputees of Aelia Capitolina who have been Trampled Under the Iron Shod Hooves of Salivating Hell Rams and Impaled on the Shimmering Tusks of Salvation Within the Abandoned Tabernacle of a Bronze Age Myth

Wow, talk about trying to out-do the mighty Bal-Sagoth in the longest songtitle department (+1 on Bal-Sagoth too btw)

totally

I Noticed That You're Gay
You Look Divorced
A1 Stankus Is Always On The Phone With His Bookie
You Got Date Raped
You Are An Interior Decorator
No, We Don't Want To Do A Split 7" With Your Stupid Fucking Band
You (Fill In The Blank)
Kyle From Incantation Has A Mustache
I Respect Your Feelings As A Woman And A Human
I'd Love To Have Your Daughter's Hand In Marriage
I Became A Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked For It
Hitler Was A Sensitive Man
The Only Reason Men Talk To You Is Because They Want To Get Laid, You Stupid Fucking Cunt

oh god I could go on

Hmmm... Immolation is an excellent choice.

hahahaha, I'm laughing at my mac, good times.

Have A Nice Life 'Waiting for Black Metal Records to Come in the Mail'

Love that one.

Yeah, Anal Cunt titles are hilarious. I remember just showing my friends the titles when I discovered them like 3-4 years ago, and then I went and read the lyrics. Oh God.

The Mars Volta will always have a special place in my heart, with their non-sensical babble. Take the Veil Cerpin Taxt, Drunkship of Laterns, Tira Me a Las Aranas (throw me to the spiders?), etc.

Post-hardcore band Dance Gavin Dance has some pretty wacky stuff:

Lemon Meringue Tie
Turn the Lights Off, I'm Watching Back to the Future
Surprise! I'm from Cuba, Everybody Has One Brain

And in reality, I like when a band has simple, cool one-word song titles. Best example: Colour Haze--All

Major props for bringing them up, they are a great fucking hardcore band.

I'll keep this short and just say Impiety. Hah

Iron Maiden-Rime Of The Ancient Mariner

I Respect Your Feelings As A Woman And A Human

loled hard at that one as well.