Metal Reviews

Okay, here's how it will work. For the next 24 hours, Genesharules and OFC will have exactly 24 hours to post a poem/set of lyrics. The second both poems are posted, all people are free to vote. Please make your vote obvious, and be nice!

Voting will end exactly 48 hours from now.

1 poem
vs
1 poem

One vote per poster. Happy writing, all!

Now on tap: OFC vs Genesharules!!!

Next up: Dead Machine vs Phyrwolf (Wednesday 3/8/06 -Thursday 3/9/06)

Are you going to make on of those poll things, or are you just going to hand count?

Hand count

I'm sorry but I need to withdraw from this weeks competition. There's just no time. Next week maybe.

...


It's up to Dead Machine. He can delay your match, or he can take a first round bye. I can't constantly move people around. Someone's gunna get confused.

Well, let's go. Here goes my lyrics, in spanish and in english. They're original spanish, and my english is very bad, but well, the translation is as better as I can do. But a great part of the spirit was lost in the translation, for sure.

First, in spanish:

La oportunidad perdida.


Fuimos galápagos nocturnos en la vieja fábrica
Detenidos, absortos, sin pensar apenas
Dejamos que los demás decidieran.

Nos contemplamos en silencio
Agarrados de las manos
Dejamos que los demás decidieran.

Pudimos ser héroes, ahora lo sabemos
Pero nos atrapó la melancolía
Dejamos que el devenir lo marcaran las olas.

Fuimos estatuas de tungsteno,
Fuimos parte del destino del mundo
Pero no nos atrevimos a adentrarnos en la marea.

El océano se detuvo: Restamos varados
Piedras sin alas en el túnel del tiempo
Dejando que los huesos se hielen de olvido.

Fuimos galápagos nocturnos en la abyecta fábrica
Nos apartamos voluntariamente del camino
Al final dejamos que los demás decidieran.


Now, in english.

The Lost Opportunity.

We were nocturnal turtles in the old factory,
Engrossed, stopped, without thinking barely,
We left that the others decide.

We contemplate us in silence
The hands holding tight
We left that the others decide.

We could be heroes, we know it now
But melancholy trapped us
We left the waves establish the future

We were tungsten’s statues,
We were part of the world’s fate
But we didn’t dare to enter in the tide.

The ocean stopped: we stand stranded
Stones without wings in the time tunnel
We left that the bones freeze by the oblivion.

We were nocturnal turtles in the abject factory
We set apart voluntarily of the road
In the end we left that the others decide.

Good stuff, Genesharules! Here's mine. And the second I post this, people are permitted to vote!


Digger

Eyes bearing lead heavy shields
Shield not the mind
Against lightning terror in a syrupy dreamland
Where micro-sleep is fatal

In another bout, “hero” sees Mother
Brother, Father, wife, other lovers
Confrontations of life and death
And world wide collapse steals his breath

Once, Twice, now countless times removed from hell
This simulated apnea of oh, so insistent sleep
Serves him well in a reality
Where the “reality of things” entails…

…A method or 2 to cope in the slightly more suitable plain

“When determination meets a rusty shovel
There’s no limit to what you can bury”
He ambitiously sang during the fun part
Before the fatigue, where more was bitten than chewable

Before the sinking, swallowing, gaping chasms
Shrinking corridors, binding walls
A host of vomit weeping, shrieking visages
Warn the centerpiece of it all that air is now stone

Inhaling sweet reality again
Bloodshot eyes adapt to the brightening night
Sleep again, and air is now a new compound
Combined with the reek of rot…

“They should be below by now”

“And I’ve lost too much time”

GODDAMN THEM, their
GODDAMN FACES
And if only it wasn’t for
GODDAMN GASOLINE’S INCONSISTANCY

1,000,000 mares later
His task complete, maybe or maybe not
Aching orbs shield themselves from first light
Inside they gaze upon the very beautiful…



Small Note: I think Digger is already the name of some song, somewhere, but this is NOT a revised set of lyrics for that song.

Whatever results in me eventually getting to face someone.

I'm certainly not leaving.

As for the lyrics... both have drawbacks. NFAE's don't flow so well, and I also have no idea what's going on... but on the other hand, I don't know Spanish, and the english translation of Ganesha's doesn't flow well either... so coin toss it is.

Heads, NFAE it is.

I'll go with ganeshaRules for his effort. I'm not 100% sure what the poem is about, but I admire effort. Sorry OFC.

Out of all of those verses, this part got my attention. My vote is for New Friend Ancient Enemy.

It's NFAE for me though Ganesha's had a mystical feeling to it and was very good also.

Well, voting can begin at any point after both competitors have posted their stuff, but I'm just letting everyone know that 24 (23 and a half, actually) remain in the actual voting period.

Oh, and Aaron, I think I have a solution that will make you and me very happy. Yeah, sucks to see Phyrwolf out, but that means someone has to honor his role as the reserve poet. Stefan, that's you buddy! You and Aaron, Wednesday! Who-Hah! :shock: :shock:

Ganesha gets my vote!

Me gusta!

.:c:.

OFC gets my vote.

I'll vote for OFC I think, although I see good ideas in both pieces. interestingly, Ganesha's poem is actually of opposite philosophy to the one I'll be posting later on in the contest.

OFC from me.

I vote ganeshaRules, although it was a hard choice.

very close..i like both because i love/write bizarre lyrics, poems and stories as well..after excessive thinking my vote goes to OFC

As Dead Machine already pointed out there is a little 'lack of flow' in both poems. I don't know spanish so I might be judging ganeshaRules unfairly but I'll vote for OFC/NFAE. Mostly because of the somewhat wider 'palette' of different sentiments he used...

I was gonna vote in school...But it's fucking hard-Ganesha's are wierd, which I like, NFAE's have a horror kind of creepy feel which I also like. NFAE, because the creepiness won in the end. Good work to Ganesha though, I loved the wierdness.