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| Pussy Vs Beer https://www.metalreviews.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=4970 |
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| Author: | MetalStorm [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Pussy Vs Beer |
It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy... A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer. A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy. Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. Advantage: Beer. Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not. advantage: Tie If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. Advantage: Pussy 24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in. Advantage: Pussy Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer. Advantage: Pussy. If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible. Advantage: Beer. If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad. Advantage: Beer. 6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need. Advantage: Pussy Buy too much beer and you will get fat. Buy too much pussy and you will get poor. Advantage: Tie It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game. Advantage: Pussy If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer. If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five. Advantage: Pussy With beer, bigger is better. Advantage: beer. Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable. Advantage: beer. Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain god. Advantage: Pussy If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal. If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic. Advantage: Pussy Peeling labels off of beers is fun. Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun. Advantage: Pussy. If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. Advantage: Tie If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are. Advantage: Beer. If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back. Advantage: Beer. The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Pussy. The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it. Advantage: Beer. Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill. Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright. Advantage: Tie Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead, Pete's Wicked Winter Brew. Good pussy: Almost all but the above. Advantage Pussy. The government taxes beer. Advantage: Pussy. |
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| Author: | Eyesore [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Both are overrated, f0sh0. |
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| Author: | Ness [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
HAHA!! That was kind of funny. |
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| Author: | Goat [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I didn't find it that funny. Americans have such a child-like sense of humour. |
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| Author: | Jürgen [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Zad wrote: I didn't find it that funny. Americans have such a child-like sense of humour.
Good humor is often slightly retarded. |
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| Author: | Goat [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Jürgen wrote: Zad wrote: I didn't find it that funny. Americans have such a child-like sense of humour. Good humor is often slightly retarded. "Good"?! There's a difference between funny silly and silly trying to be funny. |
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| Author: | Tlaloc [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
What about beer drunk from a pussy with a straw? Blegh! Anyway Beseech's Souls Highway is better than beer or pussy. |
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| Author: | PyroMan [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Sir Wanksalot wrote: Anyway Beseech's Souls Highway is better than beer
About that I agree. |
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| Author: | Dago [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Zad wrote: I didn't find it that funny. Americans have such a child-like sense of humour.
I second that, but not all of them. |
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| Author: | Goat [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Dago wrote: Zad wrote: I didn't find it that funny. Americans have such a child-like sense of humour. I second that, but not all of them. Alright, but a lot of them. Look at the supposedly hilarious films they make... |
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| Author: | Ness [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Zad wrote: Dago wrote: Zad wrote: I didn't find it that funny. Americans have such a child-like sense of humour. I second that, but not all of them. Alright, but a lot of them. Look at the supposedly hilarious films they make... You just have a bad sense of humor. |
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| Author: | Goat [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
metalNESS wrote: Zad wrote: Dago wrote: Zad wrote: I didn't find it that funny. Americans have such a child-like sense of humour. I second that, but not all of them. Alright, but a lot of them. Look at the supposedly hilarious films they make... You just have a bad sense of humor. Finding Ben Stiller unfunny is a bad sense of humour? Ditto Owen Wilson Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto? Ditto Adam Sandler Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto? Ditto Will Ferrrill Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto Ditto? Ditto etc? I think not. You poor bastards just get blasted with it 24/7. You haven't even reached the level now that Monty Python was at in their heyday. |
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| Author: | Ness [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Monty Python? I've been at that level for years. Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Jim Carey are all funny at times and lame at times. I just look for the funny times. |
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| Author: | Goat [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
metalNESS wrote: Monty Python? I've been at that level for years.
Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Jim Carey are all funny at times and lame at times. I just look for the funny times. I get tortured with Sandler because the Little Brothers love him, the shits. And Jim Carey was quite good in Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, but generally pretty shit. What's this new one of his like? |
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| Author: | Ness [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Zad wrote: metalNESS wrote: Monty Python? I've been at that level for years. Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Jim Carey are all funny at times and lame at times. I just look for the funny times. I get tortured with Sandler because the Little Brothers love him, the shits. And Jim Carey was quite good in Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, but generally pretty shit. What's this new one of his like? I don't know, but it looks stupid. I'm a fan of the Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber, In Living Color days. |
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| Author: | Goat [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
metalNESS wrote: I don't know, but it looks stupid. I'm a fan of the Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber, In Living Color days.
I'll admit to laughing at the first two when I was younger, but I re-watched AV a while back and wondered what I saw in it. |
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| Author: | Ness [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Zad wrote: metalNESS wrote: I don't know, but it looks stupid. I'm a fan of the Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber, In Living Color days. I'll admit to laughing at the first two when I was younger, but I re-watched AV a while back and wondered what I saw in it. I don't know its just stupid crap that happens. Like in the second one when he is in the mechanical rhino. I still laugh when he pops his head out of the rhino's ass, then a little girl says "Daddy look! She is giving birth" and out pops this full grown naked man. Oh man that’s funny stuff. I don't know, I just laugh at lame shit sometimes. That and my friends make everything funnier than what it is. |
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| Author: | Goat [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
metalNESS wrote: Zad wrote: metalNESS wrote: I don't know, but it looks stupid. I'm a fan of the Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber, In Living Color days. I'll admit to laughing at the first two when I was younger, but I re-watched AV a while back and wondered what I saw in it. I don't know its just stupid crap that happens. Like in the second one when he is in the mechanical rhino. I still laugh when he pops his head out of the rhino's ass, then a little girl says "Daddy look! She is giving birth" and out pops this full grown naked man. Oh man that’s funny stuff. I don't know, I just laugh at lame shit sometimes. That and my friends make everything funnier than what it is. All this is while I'm stone sober, by the by. I'll laugh at trees if I'm drunk enough. |
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| Author: | Ness [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Zad wrote: metalNESS wrote: Zad wrote: metalNESS wrote: I don't know, but it looks stupid. I'm a fan of the Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber, In Living Color days. I'll admit to laughing at the first two when I was younger, but I re-watched AV a while back and wondered what I saw in it. I don't know its just stupid crap that happens. Like in the second one when he is in the mechanical rhino. I still laugh when he pops his head out of the rhino's ass, then a little girl says "Daddy look! She is giving birth" and out pops this full grown naked man. Oh man that’s funny stuff. I don't know, I just laugh at lame shit sometimes. That and my friends make everything funnier than what it is. All this is while I'm stone sober, by the by. I'll laugh at trees if I'm drunk enough. HAHAHA!! I hear you man. Beer > Pussy sometimes. Back on track, YESS!!! |
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| Author: | Goat [ Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
metalNESS wrote: HAHAHA!! I hear you man. Beer > Pussy sometimes. Back on track, YESS!!! Beer's definately more entertaining. And cheaper. |
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