Metal Reviews

Why?

A brief recount of a story my older sister told me;

She and her husband Dale live in Perth. The other night their dogs were going berserker rage in the back yard so Dale decides to go have a look. Two important thing so bear in mind; Dale is in the navy - and at the time of this story he was wearing his pygamas, which consist of tiny white shorts that his balls almost hang out of and a tight white singlet with pink writing that spells "Fiji".

So he goes out to the back fence, which is a large wooden structure, and on the other side he sees four teens spraypainting their tag bullshit on it. So he dives over (no shoes, I should ad) and grabs the first person he can. He holds him to the ground, but this guy turns out to be an plain-clothes cop. So the two of them team up and chase these teens down the side of the highway (remember what Dale is wearing). He manages to grab two of them and pin them to the ground until more cops arrived.

An hour later Dale returns into the house from the back yard, covered in dirt and blood from a cut toe. My sister was like, "Where the fuck have you been?" After his explaination, she enquired as to whether they injured him because of the blood. He said, "No, but with my Fiji singlet and my cock and balls hanging out of my tiny white shorts, the guy thought I was trying to fuck him."

Son of a bitch! No snow in Massachusetts (or Virginia, where I currently am), but I thought I'd at least see some in Finland. Global warming fucking sucks.

Because there are no leaves in the trees and everything is just cold and black and wet. I like it when there's loads of snow everywhere.



There's still hope, its definitely getting colder. Maybe there's some by the time you get here.

Edit: Oh and Tlaloc, sometimes I wish my life was as interesting as yours ...

so like 2 weeks ago i heard that Gospel were getting ready to record a new album for 2007

according to their myspace now they're broken up

this is fucking lame

Lol, totally got attacked by this emo fuckface in my regular last night. Knew him from secondary school where he was an utter noblord (as in graffiti-ing "x is gay" all over the common room walls and stuff like that), then he came over to our table last night off his face. He was talking about "Let's build bridges that we burned at school", and I was like "hmmm, why who cares anymore?".

Then he told me he'd got a degree in politics and gave me this lecture about how oppressed the Indians and the Chinese are, and how we should be "gradually raising China up to the Western way of living, and letting them learn from us". So at this point I just started laughing out loud at everything he said, and he was like "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING YOU WOULDN'T BE LAUGHING IF IT WAS YOUR FAMILY GETTING RAPED BY THE PRESIDENT OF CHINA AND INDIA". Then he started talking about how he was a "socialist liberalist" or something and I started laughing again... At the time he just gave this face-

Anyhoo then he was going to leave and wanted to shake all of our hands, which he did, and then got round to me, and I said "hey, you're exactly how I imagined you'd turn out to be from School", which upset him a bit. But while he was shaking my hand he randomly tried to kiss it, and I was like "stop that" and pulled it away. But, he didn't let go of my hand so I ended up pulling him through an entire table full of glasses on his face by accident.

So anyway he does this face- - and leaves for about five minutes until he realises that I was patronising to him, then he comes back and grabs me from behind trying to get my neck or something and he's screaming "DON'T FUCKING MAKE FUN OF ME YOU CUNT!!!11" and I'm just thinking "oookay I hope I don't get any glass in my face" (there was a big pile of broken glass on the table and on the floor now).

So he has grabbed my neck from behind and it feels a bit like he's trying to push me into said piles of glass, but actually considering the state he was in I can't imagine he'd thought of that. Anyway he's fairly puny so it was easy for me just to stand up and get my balance whilst he gets pulled off (harr harr harr) by everyone else in the room.

Tragically though, in the process he made this massive rip in my favourite new jumper that my mum got me for Christmas, which has left me pretty sad. Hopefully I will be able to get some money out of him to replace it, although if he says no I'm not sure there's too much I can do about it.

You get worse, boyo.

lolz @ Rio

Why did Wanky sign in as rio for that post?

I was in the Vatican yesterday..
It was quite nice but i think it could have been a much more beautiful scenario if it was burning..

Arsis just posted on their myspace that supporting them on their jan/feb tour was really important to them and that there was big Arsis news coming up soon. Since Gospel just broke up I'm taking that as a negative and now I'm scared that they'll break up too

I did?

I dunno what's going on but I have to sign in every time I visit the site.

No way.

I think he's lawling at the fact that it's normally you that posts lengthy tales of everyday traumas in this thread.

This time however, it is I.

Arsis' career is still long.

Hopefully.

That's right rio....if that is your real name.

Teehee

*is slow on the uptake*

So I go to my relative's place on Christmas day, and as I'm mingling everyone is like, "Hey! Heared about your uni results! You da MAN!" and I'm like, "wtf?". My cousin comes up to me and he's like, "Woah, dude! Like, I only got straight Distinctions! BUT YOU DA MAN!". What...the...FUCK? And he goes, "Straight HIGH Distinctions, yeah! You pwnzord!" Wait a fucking minute. No I didn't! So how did this come about?

Because my mother is a habitual liar, that's why.

For example;
"Hey Mum, guess what? I went to the store today and bought some chewing gum, and they overcharged me."
so she would later go...
"Hey Wanksy's sister, guess what? Your brother was buying chewing gum and he was anal-raped by a bear."

Anyway, on an unrelated note but at the same location; I was standing there, chatting away with my wife when an aunty and uncle walk in followed by this total hornbag. And I'm all *boing*, until I realise it's my cousin whom I haven't seen in about seven years and has grown up into a young woman. Have you ever wanted to take your brain out and wash it? Now I have.