Lich King - Toxic Zombie Onslaught
Stormspell Records
Thrash Metal
10 songs (41:04)
Release year: 2008
Lich King, Stormspell Records
Reviewed by Jerrol

“The saga of Lich King
Once upon a time, Thor and He-Man were fighting. He-Man swung his sword of power and Thor met it with Mjolnir, his mighty hammer. The resulting lightningstorm killed them both, but from the blood and ozone and blackened bits of bone a new band was born. This would be the greatest thrash metal band in history. This is their tale. Then they wrote some songs and stuff, casting their spell upon the altar of steel. Gary Holt took a listen and his ears burst into flame. Billy Milano began weeping as he listened, and he threw himself from a bridge in despair. Jeff Hanneman listened to BUT ONE Lich King song and shook his head, then broke his guitar over one knee. He walked into a Staples and began filling out an application.”

With this being the only history of Lich King I was able to find, after initial listens I should have expected nothing less. Being a band that enjoys laughing at themselves as equally as others they defiantly take their music seriously. Lich King, from Amherst, Massachusetts, gives us their sarcastic and sometimes misunderstood offering of “east coast bay area thrash” with their latest release, Toxic Zombie Onslaught.

“For the Lich King is Fierce. And he is wicked awesome.” And so begins Toxic Zombie Onslaught with their Cheesy Metal Intro. Striking forth with their epically titled Attack of the Wrath of the War of the Death of the Strike of the Sword of the Blood of the Beast completely sets the tone for the album, summoning an amazing thrash sound that reminds me of the earliest work of Slayer in its delivery. The riffs are well executed, which one would expect with Rambo and The Hulk handling guitar duties. Even though the vocals are billed as “same shitty vocals” they are stylistically fitting and well executed by “A Fucking Tyrannosaur”. The rest of the album does not stray far from opener AOTWOTWOTDOTSOTSOTB. The urgency of Thrash Resurgence and the title track are bound to snap a few necks. Office Politics, leaning heavily on it's technical riffing, is the working man’s anthem about wanting to kill your boss. Cold Steel Machine has a very addictive thrash groove which delivers the best vocals on the album. The song that seems to have gotten the largest response, Black Metal Sucks, is actually just a filler track on Toxic Zombie Onslaught. I found the song humorous at first but the novelty of it wore off after multiple listens.

If you are a fan of old school thrash metal and its production style, the mix is a bit quiet but my stereo has adjustable volume so it bothered me none, then Toxic Zombie Onslaught is a justifiable listen. But heed the warning of the Lich King; “Sadly, the fans of Lich King are few, as the music is so ferocious and primal that it boils the brain and sends a potential listener to Valhalla with but a few tasty riffs. The lesson to be learned is that listening to Lich King will kill you... so don't do it.” Happy Thrashing!

Killing Songs :
AOTWOTWOTDOTSOTSOTB, Office Politics, Thrash Resurgence, Cold Steel Machine
Jerrol quoted 81 / 100
Other albums by Lich King that we have reviewed:
Lich King - Born of the Bomb reviewed by Bar and quoted 79 / 100
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